Baby Mama Teenage Drama
by Princess dogooder
Summary: When 11 year old Julie offers to carry her aunt and uncle's baby for them as they cannot sucessfully carry a pregnancy and all other attempts of having a child have failed Natalie is horrified but hesitatantly agrees to 1 implant and it takes.
1. Natalie's Point of View

I don't own Monk or Julie or Natalie. I own Denise and Peter

I know this would never happen in real life. That's why it's a good thing it's called fanFICTION not fanFACTION...lol

_

* * *

_

_My daughter, Julie is the most unselfish, most giving and most loving person you would ever want to meet. I can remember one time, when my husband was alive we took her to Nathan's. It's a restaurant/indoor amusement park. It came complete with games and rides. We gave her 10 dollars to play the games. She won 500 tickets. Julie had planned to use all 500 tickets to buy herself a little porcelain doll that she had been wanting for awhile. It didn't end up happening like that. She ended up giving ½ her tickets to a little boy she never even met because he was disappointed that he couldn't 'buy' a stuffed lamb for his little sister.  
I never thought Julie's unselfishness would surprise me. I was _

_**very **__wrong. Today my 11 year old daughter stunned me. It all began when my sister had come over. She had suffered her 13__th__ miscarriage. My sister and brother-in-law were unable to adopt and they had been hard-pressed to find a surrogate mother. I would have offered to do it but I couldn't. I had a hysterectomy after I almost bled to death having Julie.  
After a few minutes Julie piped in._

"_Aunt Denise?"_

"_What is it sweetie," Denise asked_

"_What if I did it?"_

"_What if you did what?"_

"_What if I carried your baby for you?"  
My heart dropped to my toes. I had to bite back my 1__st__ reaction which was to say __**absolutely not! **__I couldn't believe my daughter was offering something like that. My sister had tears in her eyes._

"_Julie that's very sweet of you," I told her, "but I'm not so sure that you're ready for it. Pregnancy can be very difficult on a person but physically and emotionally"_

"_Mom," Julie said, "Aunt Denise and Uncle Peter deserve a baby. They've lost 22 in the last 9 years through miscarriages, unsuccessful adoptions and surrogates who selfishly change their minds and keep the child"  
I couldn't argue with that. I looked at Denise and Peter._

_"I really appreciate that Julie," Denise said, "And I love you but I'm not sure that would be fair to you"_

"_It would be," Julie insisted, "You're my family. It's not like I would never see the baby again so I wouldn't have any reason to decide to keep her… or him"_

'_You're also only 11,' I thought to myself but bit back from saying that. Instead I offered a compromise._

"_Let's do this," I said, "we'll try one time. If the pregnancy takes that's fine… but if it doesn't we don't do this a 2__nd__ time"  
Denise and Peter looked at each other. Their doctor happened to be a member of our family so there was no hesitation of him refusing to do this. _

"_That sounds fair," Julie said and Denise and Peter quickly agreed.  
Julie was on her period so we had to wait a week to do the implantation. I knew that was going to be the longest week of my life. I kept trying to talk Julie out of it. Maybe it was selfish of me but I didn't want my child to suffer though 9 months of pregnancy, horrible labor, get attached to this baby and have to get him or her up.  
That was the least of it however. I almost bled to death having Julie. The thought that I could lose Julie terrified me. The day before the implant I was completely distracted when I went over to Mr. Monk's place. The good thing about working for your best friend is that he's your best friend and as much as he can be annoying at times (which he can be) he can also pick up on the fact that something's upsetting you. That's also the bad thing about working for your best friend. _

_"Natalie," Mr. Monk asked gently, "did you hear anything I just said"_

"_Oh I'm sorry Mr. Monk," I said, "I just have something on my mind."_

"_Do you want to talk about it," he asked_

"_You wouldn't understand," I whispered_

"_I might surprise you," Mr. Monk said, "I understand a lot more than you think I do… even when I am a little slow on the uptake"  
I smiled at him. He's right on that count. He does understand more than I give him credit for._

_"You know what," I told him, "I think I would like to talk about this"  
He sat me down on the sofa, looked directly at me and motioned for me to continue.  
'Okay,' I thought to myself, 'who are you and what have you done to Mr. Monk'. He was usually not that sensitive. Normally you had to hit him over the head with an emotion stick to get him to pick up on the fact that there was a problem. _

"_Natalie," he interrupted my thoughts  
I slowly told him everything from beginning to end. He sat there and listened with careful attentiveness. _

"_Wow," he said, "that must be really scary for you"_

"_I don't think I've ever been that scared in my life. Mr. Monk I almost died having Julie. What if Julie dies having this baby?"_

"_Natalie," Mr. Monk said, "You can die getting into your car. Believe me I know"  
He glanced up at the picture of Trudy at the same time._

"_You're right," I said softly_

"_Besides," Mr. Monk said, "It's unlikely the pregnancy will take hold"_

"_Thank you," I told him, "you made me feel a lot better"  
I hugged him. He hugged me back awkwardly. Sometimes I really loved him._

_It was a couple of weeks later that the doctor (a.k.a. my cousin Rochelle) called. The pregnancy did take and it looked like it was going to be a strong pregnancy. I sat down on the couch and cried. My baby was having a baby and it wasn't even her baby._


	2. A New Friendship Formed

I own Benjamin Toplying but he was inspired by a character in the book Mr. Monk and The Two Assistants

* * *

"Natalie?"  
Natalie seemed to be distracted. Her mind seemed to be going at a million miles an hour.

"Natalie," Benjamin Toplying said again and she looked up.

"Ben… how did you get in here," she asked.

"Your door was opened," he explained, "you really should shut it. You should lock it too."  
Natalie didn't respond. Now Toplying was getting a little concerned. Natalie and Benjamin had a love/hate relationship. They were friends yes but she never quite forgave him for something he had done that hurt her. He didn't want to do it. He was just doing what he had to do, but try telling that to Natalie.  
She pointed out that he could have been a little more compassionate in his manor. He couldn't argue with her there but he had been under a lot of stress.

"Are you okay," he asked her

"Like you care," she muttered.  
He put a hand on her shoulder.

"Natalie," he said, "I do care. I care very deeply about you. You're my friend"

"A friend wouldn't have acted the way you did last month"

"I didn't act like a friend that day," he admitted, "and I regret that to this day. I know I shouldn't have acted the way I did that day but now why don't you tell me what's wrong"  
Natalie paused for a minute and than burst into tears.

"Come on," Benjamin said, "what's wrong. You know you can tell me."

"Well-" she began and he interrupted.

"Just a minute," he said and locked the door, "It's unsafe for you to be in an unlocked apartment"  
She smiled at him a little bit.

"Thank you," she said softly, "anyway I'm upset because Julie's pregnant"

"Who's the father," Toplying asked.

"My brother-in law," Natalie answered  
Toplying's eyes widened to the size of saucers. Natalie laughed.

"It's not like that," she said, "Peter is the father of the baby but Julie isn't the mother of the baby"

"Now I'm **really **confused," Benjamin said, "how could she not be the mother of the baby when she's pregnant with the baby"  
Natalie started to cry again.

"Natalie," Toplying asked handing her a tissue

"She's acting as a surrogate mother. My sister is incapable of carrying a baby"  
A slow smile spread across Benjamin's face. He had seen acts of unselfishness but if this didn't top it all.

"You have an incredible child," he said.

"I know," Natalie sobbed, "and I can't lose her"

"Lose her? Why would you lose her?"

"Ben… I almost died having Julie," Natalie explained

"Now I understand why you're scared," Ben said gently, "But Natalie you have to remember something. You had Julie 11 years ago. The medical technically was not as good back then as it is today. I understand that isn't very comforting right now-"

"No it is," she said, "but I don't think I'll feel completely better until after the baby is born and I don't lose her"

"Can I give you some advice Natalie?"

"Is it going to be the same advice you gave me a month ago," Natalie asked drying but she was smiling a little.

"No," he promised, "it's just this. Don't waste the nine months"

"What do you mean," Natalie asked seriously

"I mean exactly what I said"  
Natalie put her hands on her hips.

"Julie isn't going to die from her pregnancy," Benjamin said, "She might not sail through it smoothly but she's definitely going to survive it"

"Okay," Natalie said

"But don't waste the nine months worrying about if Julie is going to survive this or not. Enjoy your daughter. Do things together… movies, shows-"

"They cost money," Natalie pointed out

"Okay so I'll treat for it," Toplying said

"WHAT!"

"Look, about a month ago I had a horrible fight with my daughter. I know it was my fault. That doesn't make it any easier though. She never called since and I have yet to see her again. I would give anything to take back what I said that day. So I'll treat you guys for some things from time to time. It would make me feel like I'm close to my daughter again"  
Natalie looked at Benjamin Toplying and saw another man. No longer was he someone who was insensitive last month. No longer was he someone who was clueless. He understood more than she thought he had.

"Were you… did you know what was going on that day," Natalie asked Benjamin.

"We all did," Toplying answered, "except for you ladies."

"And you didn't think to tell us because," Natalie asked, "I mean that would have dropped my anxiety level by… **a lot**"

"True," Benjamin replied, "but you can't keep a secret to save your life"

Natalie laughed

"I can too," she said

"Natalie I can read you like a picture book," Toplying pointed out

"Not true"

"Yes true"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Yes"

"Nu-uh"

"Uh-huh"

"Okay," Natalie laughed, "what am I thinking right now?"

"Well right now you're thinking about how you're annoyed that I told you that you can't keep a secret to save your life"  
Natalie laughed and swatted his arm with the pillow.

"Well… am I right?"

"Yes you're right," Natalie admitted  
Benjamin grinned at her.

"See. I told you that you were unable to keep a secret"

"Shut up," she laughed, "or should I say remain quiet"

"Naw I think you should say, 'thank you for being such an awesome friend," he teased.  
Natalie looked at him seriously.

"You really are a good friend," she said, "and I appreciate your friendship"

"I appreciate yours," Ben said than looked at his watch, "okay I have to get home to my wife now. If I am late I'll have another murder on my hands"

"Whose?"

"My own because she will **kill **me"  
He laughed and left just as Julie came in

"Hey mom," Julie said, "can we order a pizza. I'm really in the mood for pizza today"

"Sure," Natalie said, "Rochelle called today"

"Did the pregnancy take," she asked crossing her fingers.

"Yes," Natalie said, "the pregnancy took"  
Julie beamed. Her eyes lit up.

"Thank GOD," she said, "now Aunt Denise and Uncle Peter will finally be able to have the baby they want and deserve"  
Natalie watched as her daughter wrapped her arms protectively over her midsection. This child was going to be her cousin. Julie was one hell of a kid.

"Hey honey," Natalie asked, "how would you like to go out to dinner instead of ordering the pizza in?"  
Julie smiled at her mother.

"I would like that," she said, "Should we invite Mr. Monk?"  
Natalie laughed.

"Mr. Monk can fend for himself for a little while," she said, "I want to spend some one on one time with you."  
Julie got her coat on and Natalie got the car keys. They arrived at the pizza place 10 minutes later. Who should they run into but Adrian Monk?

"Mr. Monk," Julie said, "do you want to join us"  
She felt bad leaving him out. Adrian however saw that Natalie needed time alone with her daughter.

"I'm just finishing up here," he said, "I'll see you tomorrow"


	3. Julie's Point of View

Captain is my own creation

_**Above or Below **_is not a real book. I made up the title but thank you to my friend Lindsey for the insperation of the plot

_

* * *

_

_There are a lot of things I found out in the first week of discovering I was pregnant that you never can learn in the lessons about teenage… or in my case preteen pregnancy they teach in school. Some of those lessons are good lessons. One thing I learned for example is that when you're pregnant you can get away with things that you really couldn't get away with when you're not pregnant. I hate doing the dishes and ever since I learned that I was pregnant mom has been taking care of that for me.  
I also learned that when you're pregnant you're more likely to be told yes than when you're not pregnant. Mom told me I could have a dog when I turned 13. Sometimes we would go into the pet shop just to look and I fell in love with one of the dogs. It was a little toy poodle but you would never have guessed it from its bark. As I was playing with it mom came up to me._

"_You like that dog," she asked_

"_Yes. I can't wait until I'm 13 and I can have my own dog."  
Mom smiled._

"_You know I just got a big tax rebate," she told me, "and I was wondering how I should spend it."  
Fifteen minutes later we added the dog to the family. I named him Captain because of his powerful bark.  
I also learned that when you're pregnant you want the strangest foods. Last night for instance at 3 o'clock in the morning I had an overwhelming urge for French Fries in between two pieces of bread. I kid you not. I managed to make it without waking up my mom but she discovered evidence of it the next day._

"_Craving," she asked_

"_Yeah"_

"_Why didn't you wake me? Honey I would have made it for you"_

"_Mom… it was three in the morning and I'm capable of cooking simple things," I told her, "Don't worry."  
Captain started to bark._

"_You go take a hot bath," she said, "but not too hot because you don't want to burn yourself. I'll go walk Captain and make you some breakfast… what are you in the mood for"  
_

_"Cream of wheat with salted butter," I answered, "and toast with honey on it"_

"_That's easy enough," mom said.  
I went to take a bath. It felt so good because I was suffering from a little bit of a headache. I took some of my school reading with me. I was in the middle of a great book. It was called __**Above or Below**__ and it was about the relationship between a man and his wife. He was my favorite character in the book not because he was always a great man but because he had the best of intentions and while he made a lot of mistakes he learned from them. In a lot of ways he reminded me of Mr. Monk.  
Some of the book actually brought me to tears. I knew that pregnancy was going to effect my emotions but I didn't expect that it would cause me to cry at every little thing. My moods went up and down like a yo-yo. There was one part of the book where she was pregnant and they were having an argument about if pain control is okay or not. He says that the bible makes it clear women need to suffer during birth. She responds, "I'm the one having the baby m'dear and if the pain makes it dangerous to deliver I'm all for pain control"  
He wanted to chide her for saying that but all she did was speak the truth. At that particular point of the story I couldn't help it. I laughed and cried at the same time. I got out of the tub and threw up. That was another thing I learned about pregnancy. Morning sickness was horrible. It was also a lie. It wasn't morning sickness because it wasn't only in the morning. I could throw up anywhere. I could throw up in the middle of the afternoon or the evening or 3 o'clock in the morning.  
I also learned that when you're 11-years-old and pregnant your mother can be overly protective of you. That was one thing I was grateful for and annoyed by at the same time._

"_Honey," she knocked on the door, "you okay?"_

"_Yeah mom, just a hint of morning sickness"_

_"Maybe you should stay home from school today," mom suggested_

"_Mom that's silly"_

"_Julie I would feel better if you stayed home today"_

"_I'm going to have to face this throughout the whole pregnancy," I said, "I can't stay home every day"_

"_No but it seems really bad today"  
I sighed inwardly._

"_Okay," I said, "I'll stay home today but I can't tomorrow. I have a field trip to the theater"_

"_I'm driving you to the theater," mom said, "I don't want you on that school bus."  
In spite of myself I smiled. It would be a lot nicer driving in mom's air conditioned car than on a hot sticky bus._

"_Okay," I said_

"_I'm picking you up too"_

"_Okay mom," I said.  
I brushed my teeth for the first of probably at least 30 times today. Mom had breakfast waiting there for me when I got out. The cereal was delicious but for some reason I found the honey was too sweet. It didn't make sense._

_"That's the pregnancy," mom explained, "It changes your tastes"_

"_Oh," I replied, "I didn't know that. I'm sorry mom"_

"_About what?"_

"_Making you make the toast," I cried, "I wasted your time"  
Mom hugged me_

"_Julie honey it took me 30 second to make. Co'mere sweetheart"  
She held me while I sobbed and stroked my hair until I calmed down._

_Another thing I learned about pregnancy is that even when you're not going to be the one raising the child you feel like a life is depending on you. Everything I do for the next 8 months and 3 weeks will affect this baby… my cousin. Until this baby is born she… or he is my baby. She… or he is my responsibility. I loved my cousin. I know that she… or he is going to be my Aunt and Uncle's baby and I was glad about that because I couldn't be responsible for the life of a newborn once she… or he is outside of me.  
The doorbell rang. It was my Aunt Denise._

"_Hey Aunt Denise," I said_

"_Hey sweetheart," she told me, "how are you feeling?"_

"_Pregnant," I laughed, "Your daughter… or son is making it quite clear that she… or he is here"_

"_Do you need a ride to school," she asked_

"_She's not going to school today," mom said, "bad morning sickness"_

"_Oh sweetie I'm sorry," Aunt Dense said  
I shrugged it off._

"_Once the baby gets here it will be worth it," I said_

"_You're not thinking of keeping the baby are you," Aunt Denise asked alarmed_

"_Of course not," I told her sincerely, "This is your baby. She… or he is just my cousin."_

"_Well not 'just' your cousin," Aunt Denise said, "You have an important role in his or her life"  
I started tearing up._

"_Peter and I were talking about this," she said, "and since this baby is going to be in the world because of you we would like you to be his or her godmother"  
Again my eyes filled with tears. _

"_I would love that," I told her, "thank you Aunt Denise"_

"_Well I have to meet up with Peter now. We're going shopping for the baby."  
I hugged her goodbye._

"_Do you want to come," she asked  
I looked at my mom._

"_Come on," she said, "let's go"  
We came home later that day. We didn't find anything for the baby yet but we had a nice time together and enjoyed each others company._


	4. Banter

Monk came over the next day. As he rang the doorbell the dog barked and Natalie opened the door.

"That's a dog," Monk said

"Wow. No wonder you were a detective," Natalie teased, "nothing gets past you does it."  
Monk rolled his eyes.

"It's a little dog," he said.

"And what color is the tablecloth," she teased  
Monk laughed a little bit. Than he turned his attention to Natalie's table.

"You have dust on the table," he freaked

"Mr. Monk calm down"

"I can't calm down. You have dust on the table. It needs to be cleaned up."

"For GOD sake you act as if the dust where demonic or something," Natalie said and cleaned up the dust, "There better?"  
Monk sighed deeply in relief. It was as if he had watched a demon be neatly cut in have and folded away and buried.

"Mr. Monk can I ask you something"

"Yes. You just proved that"

"Huh?"

"You just proved you could ask me something by asking me if you could ask me something"

"If you could go back," Natalie asked him, "Is there anything you would do differently"

"There are plenty of things I'd do differently believe me," he said  
Monk got out his wipes and started cleaning up little specks of dust that he noticed.

"What would you do differently," Natalie asked.

"Well for starters I would-"  
Captain started barking.

"Captain needs to go out for his walk," Natalie said.  
Monk looked confused.

"Why would the captain need to go out for his walk?"

"No not **the **captain. **Captain…**"

"What?"

"Captain…that's what Julie named the dog"

"You shouldn't have let her name him Captain"

"Why not," Natalie asked getting the lease out

"It's too confusing," Monk said, "How will we know if you're talking about the captain or if you're talking about the dog?"

"Well for one thing when I refer to the captain I do call him either **the Captain **or **Captain Stottlemyer **so I don't think this should be a problem."

"I still think it's too confusing"

"It'll be okay," Natalie assured him.

"But don't you think-"

"Mr. Monk," Natalie said, "I promise you that you will know who I'm talking about"

"Okay," Monk hesitated, "but I still don't know about this"

"You don't have to know about it," Natalie said, "**I **know about it"  
Monk sighed inwardly. He hated not being in control. Natalie put the lease on Captain and pet him as she did so.

"I really don't like the fact that you named him Captain," Monk sighed.  
Instead of getting annoyed which was something she usually would do Natalie simply made a joke of it.

"Just be glad we didn't name him Mr. Monk," she said and Captain barked.

"Good boy Captain," Natalie laughed

"Are you going to take a poop bag," Monk asked

"Yes of course," Natalie said taking one.  
Monk screamed.

"Are you crazy," he said, "You don't take it like that. You have to take several small poop bags and several larger bags. After the doggie… does his thing you take the smaller bag and put his… ICK in it and then you put the…"  
Monk than preceded to go a four hour discourse on how to pick up dog poop. That is, it would have been four hours if Natalie had not very wisely smiled at Adrian and said, "I'll tell you what Mr. Monk. If you stop this lecture I will let you do it for me"  
Monk got excited about that. Cleaning was Monk's week spot. He LOVED to do it. One time he had gotten grounded from cleaning for a week and he would actually get up and clean in his sleep. There was another time where a criminal who knew his love for cleaning tried to get him to drop the charges by offering to let him clean his house three times a week. He was tempted for a minute but luckily he was smart enough not to cave.  
After they were done walking Captain, Natalie looked at her watch.

"I need to go pick up Julie," she said

"I'll come with you," he said

"No Mr. Monk," she told him, "I don't think that's a good idea"

"Why," he asked trying not to look insulted

"It's just that Julie needs the front seat in her condition and I know you're uncomfortable not being in the front"  
Monk nodded.

"Can I stay here while you pick up Julie?"

"Yes"

"Can I… can I clean?"  
Natalie smiled.

"Yes Mr. Monk. You have my full permission to clean"


	5. Monk's Point of View

_ I got out the dust pans, the mops, the brooms, the simply green and everything else I needed and then got to work. I couldn't believe that Julie was pregnant. I mean I understood it wasn't her baby or anything like that but still she was pregnant. Pregnant means throwing up and that's scary. That's one of the reasons I never wanted for Trudy to get pregnant. I couldn't handle it if she threw up. I mean… she would throw up when she was sick and that was hard for me too. It made me want to cry. I hated to see her suffering. Unlike other situations I couldn't protect her from the flu or food poisoning once it happened. She would always tell me it wasn't a big deal. She would tell me that people get sick. It's not like she was going to die from the flu or from mild food poisoning. She always knew how to make me feel better.  
She was perfect. She knew me so well that it was impossible for her not to get me. There was one time I can remember when I had started to say something that I must had said 50 billion times before if I said it once. For some reason I got all tongue tied. I started to panic but Trudy just smiled and turned to the person I was talking to._

"_What he's saying is, and I'm sure you heard it before," she said and translated for me as Leland, Randy and everyone else stood there in amazement. Thank GOD she came in when she did. Another time I took 3 hours to say something that should have taken me less than a minute to say. I asked the person if he understood what I was saying and he said, "I stopped listening about 2 hours ago". Trudy laughed when he said that. I can also remember a time where I had started to say something to her… and I was so nervous I couldn't stop shaking. I couldn't even formulate a proper sentence. She held out her hands and put one on my arm and said, "Adrian it's alright… I know"  
Her calm and compassionate demeanor could set anything right.  
As perfect as Trudy was, she also knew how to keep me in line. Maybe you heard of the song from __**Annie Get Your Gun **__that says, "ANYTHING YOU CAN DO I CAN DO BETTER". Well in Trudy's case the opposite was true. Anything I could do she could (and did) do better. She literally could do everything better than me. Sometimes that would annoy me. During one particular incident I became very competitive. _

"_I bet I could put away the dishes faster than you," I told her_

"_FOR GOD SAKES ADRIAN IT'S NOT A COMPITITION," she snapped but lightly_

"_I never said it was"_

"_No but ever since the convention you've been acting like it was. You're always like, 'I'll bet I could do this better then you' or 'faster then you'_

"_Okay so maybe I've been a __**little **__competitive-"_

"_A little? Adrian you're never 'a little' anything"_

"_Honey you can understand," I said gently, "it would be like if I did something better then you that you were good at"  
She laughed_

"_What's so funny?"_

"_You think I'm better then you at what you're good at," she said and laughed some more, "Adrian if I'm good at all it's because of you. You're the one that made me who I am today"_

"_But-"_

"_And," she added, "If you were at one point better than me at something I was good at I would be way proud. Honey, you're you and I'm me. We are two different people."  
She always had this way of making me feel so much better about myself even when I was at my lowest.  
One thing she told me consistently was that I needed to trust myself. That really came in handy one day. Everyone had thought something but for some reason it didn't seem to fit together in my opinion. Something just told me it wasn't right. I started to say 'I guess if everyone thinks so we can't-' but than Trudy interrupted_

"_The question Adrian," she said,"Is what do __**you **__think?"  
In those simple words she turned my world on its head. I had always gone along with what everyone else thought. It always seemed easiest and it kept me out of trouble. But I couldn't say something was right if it was wrong. _

"_But it's easier," Randy pointed out_

"_Easier doesn't make it right," Trudy recounted_

"_I'm with her," Leland said, "Besides that, we're not going to do something because it's easier but because it's right."  
Julie didn't carry her cousin because it was easier. It would have been much easier for her __**not**____to do this. It wouldn't even have been wrong but what she was doing was more then right. I wiped the last piece of dust off the table. After that I started reorganizing the refrigerator. That was always a lot of fun. It wasn't as fun as vacuuming but I had already vacuumed and I didn't know when Natalie would be back. _


	6. Anger At McDonalds

Cameron and Rochelle are my own creation

* * *

Natalie picked Julie up from the theater.

"Hey honey," she said, "how did you enjoy the show?"

"Oh it was terrific," Julie said.  
Julie's stomach growled.

"Can we stop at McDonalds on the way home," she asked.  
Normally Natalie wasn't such a big fan of McDonalds. Julie wasn't either but it must have been the pregnancy.

"Sure," she said  
They drove about 3 minutes when they passed a McDonalds. Julie got out of the car first. Natalie followed her.

"Welcome to McDonalds," said a young girl who's name was Cameron, "what can I get for you today?"

"I would like 2 large fries, a Big Mac with everything on it and a coke," Julie said.  
Cameron rolled her eyes

"You're making a big mistake," she said as she put the order up.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean," Natalie said annoyed.

"Your daughter is a little chunky as it is"

"Excuse me," Natalie said, "Julie is not chunky and you have no DAMN right to judge"

"Look, my father is a plastic surgeon so I know what chunky people look like. Your daughter has love handles"

"YOU HAVE A BIG MOUTH," Natalie said, "My daughter is going through something you couldn't possibly understand."

"Mom," Julie said, "its okay. Just ignore it. She doesn't mean anything by it"  
Natalie seethed inside. How dare this BITCH, yes she was a BITCH judge her daughter. Who the hell was she? She never even **met **Julie.

"What could she possibly be going through that makes her have love handles?"

"I'm pregnant," Julie said calmly

"Raped or whore," Cameron asked.  
Natalie had to hold back from slapping the girl. Julie just smiled.

"Neither. I'm a surrogate mother. I'm carrying my aunt's baby"

"Well either you're a damn liar or your mother is damn stupid for letting you do this"

"Is something bothering you," Julie asked Cameron

"What do you mean," Cameron asked.

"You don't have the face of a meanie," Julie said, "Yet you're acting mean"  
Natalie couldn't believe this. Her daughter had just been insulted time and time again and yet she was listening to her daughter have compassion for this BITCH.

"Yes something's bothering me," Cameron said, "my parents are getting divorced, my mom just had a miscarriage and my little brother has cancer. Excuse me if I'm not all cotton candy and sunshine."  
Julie went behind the cash register and gave Cameron a hug.

"I know how you're feeling," Julie told her

"You couldn't possibly"

"Believe me I do. I was 6 years old when my dad died. It felt like the worst thing that ever happened to me and I had bouts of anger to where I just wanted to hurt someone or something. I still knew though that it wasn't going to help. Do you have a pen and a piece of paper?"  
Cameron handed her one. She jotted down her cell phone number

"If you need to talk call me. If I don't answer I'll call you back"  
Then she went to join her mother as her lunch was ready.

"I am so going to write a letter to the manager," Natalie said

"Mom no… you saw her. She was hurting"

"She may have been hurting," Natalie said, "but that's no excuse for what she did"

"Mom please. It's really important to me that you DON'T do this"

"Julie she hurt you"

"She was hurting mom. Besides I'm not angry so why should you be"  
Natalie sighed inwardly as Julie dipped her fries in salt. She hated the idea of Cameron getting away with what she said to Julie without being punished. She should be fired. She didn't care that her brother had cancer. She didn't care that he mother had a miscarriage. She didn't care that her parents were getting divorced. Then she looked at Julie. The last thing Julie needed right now was for her to go crazy.  
She took a breath.

"I'm sorry honey," she said, "I just get angry sometimes"

"You and everyone else," Julie replied shrugging, "but please mom this is really important to me. I know how angry I felt after dad died."

"Do you still miss your father," Natalie asked her

"Yes and no," Julie said, "because he's still alive"  
Natalie looked up.

"What? Julie did you hear something"

"No. I don't mean he's alive physically," she said touching her chest, "He's alive in here and he's alive in heaven. He's waiting for us"  
Natalie grinned at her daughter.

"You know what Julie," she told her, "You're absolutely right. I know that dad is watching down on us from heaven."

"I love you mom"

"And I love you baby girl"  
Julie wolfed down her soda.

"Slow down Julie," she scolded but mildly

"Sorry. I'm just so thirsty today"  
Natalie started to panic. She was thirsty? That could mean gestational diabetes.

"Julie honey we need to get you to Rochelle's office"

"Why?"

"I… just want her to test your blood sugar that's all"  
So off they went to Rochelle's office. Julie thought it was silly but she understood her mother's concern.

"No problem," Rochelle said

"You're not going to have to stick my finger are you," Julie asked frightened. She hated the finger prick.

"No," Rochelle promised, "I thought we would use the laser light"

"What's that?"

"It's a new form of testing your blood sugar," Rochelle explained, "You won't feel a thing"  
Rochelle tested her quickly and painlessly and smiled

"Perfectly normal," she said

"But she was thirsty?"

"Was there salt on her fries," Rochelle asked laughing

"Um… yeah"

"Natalie Julie is 100% fine"  
Natalie felt a lot better.

"She'll be fine," Rochelle said, "It's just a normal part of pregnancy"

"Normal? Rochelle what's 'normal' about an 11 year old being pregnant?"

"This is something Julie needs to do. This is something that she has to do for Denise and Peter"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course"  
Natalie closed the door.

"I was just thinking that if Julie… d i e d giving birth I would be so mad at Denise and Peter for agreeing to this. Does that make me a terrible person?"

"Natalie, of course not. You're Julie's mother just like Denise is this baby's mother"

"So is Julie"

"Julie is this baby's mother until this baby is born but after this baby is born-"

"If it weren't for Julie this baby wouldn't even exist"

"Natalie… Julie is doing this for Denise and Peter. Do you want to keep this baby?"

"No. I want to keep MY baby"  
Rochelle hugged Natalie.

"Julie is going to get through this just fine," Rochelle said, "but she needs you to be strong for her. You may need to talk to someone. I don't care what Mitch says. Sometimes you can't pull yourself up by your own bootstraps"  
Natalie thought about that as she drove home with Julie that night. When she came home she found Mr. Monk and a sparkling clean apartment."


	7. Leland's Point of View

Sean is my own character_

* * *

___

I walked into my office today as any other day. My friend Sean came in and slammed the door to the outer office.

"_Problem," I asked him_

"_You might say that"_

"_I did say that"  
He rolled his eyes._

_"Why don't you come into my office," I suggested, "We can talk about whatever it is that's bothering you"  
Sean followed me into my office._

"_Now," I said, "You want to tell me what's wrong?"_

"_My daughter Alexandra has been steeling from C.V.S., cutting herself and making herself throw up"_

_"It sounds like you have a problem," I said sympathetically, _

"_Gee… I never would have guessed," he said sarcastically  
I drew in a breath._

"_So what are you going to do about this," I asked him_

"_Well I'm certainly __**not **__going to make her feel worse about what's going on," he said, "She already feels alone and unloved which she's not"_

"_Why does she feel alone and unloved," I asked_

"_Our younger daughter Winnie has been having some bad health problems," Sean explained, "Kelly and I really haven't had much time for Alexandra and we've been sort of impatient with her lately."  
I could understand that. When my oldest, Jennifer, was in the hospital dying of a brain tumor (which she miraculously recovered from) the responsibility of everything else fell to our oldest son, Jarred. He was expected to be mature and to understand disappointments and to help care for his 4 year old brother Max. It rocked my world when I almost got mad at him for a minor mistake and he pointed out, "daddy I'm only 8 and this is hurting me too." That was the first and last time that I considered getting mad._

_"You know she shouldn't have stolen from C.V.S.," I pointed out_

"_I know"_

"_Maybe you could scare her into stopping her behavior," I suggested. Alexandra was 16. That was old enough to know better._

"_Leland!"_

"_Okay," I said, "so maybe not the best idea but what else can you do?"_

_"Here's the problem," he told me, "There are INHAB treatment programs that can fix her, but if I send her to one of them she'll feel like she's not loved-"  
I interrupted him then and there._

"_Sean," I asked him, "Isn't her life important?"_

"_More then you can even begin to imagine"_

"_Then you need to sick her down and explain to her that she's sick and she needs to get better. You might even point out that if Winnie could get better from one of those programs wouldn't it be good for her to go. At that point it is very likely that she will understand where you're going on this one"_

"_It won't be easy"  
I thought of Julie. She was younger then my oldest child and yet there she was getting ready to have a baby. It wasn't even her baby. She was carrying this baby for her aunt and uncle.  
She would have to suffer, and I do mean suffer through morning sickness. I remember when Karen was pregnant with Jennifer. Throwing up became something she could put on her morning schedule. It would have looked like this. Wake up. Throw up. Tell my husband to take out the garbage because odor from the garbage would make me throw up. Get whatever food I'm craving today. Throw up. Take a nap because I'm exhausted from the pregnancy. Wake up. Have lunch (usually order a pizza or something), throw up, watch TV, throw up again, have dinner, throw up, be too tired to do the nightly routine (hey I didn't say there were no plus's), throw up again, try to get to sleep, have my husband rub my back, throw up a little more and go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.  
She would have to suffer with mood swings. Karen used to have them worse then an upscale clock. Don't ask me what that means. I have no idea. Worst of all… she will have to go through labor and delivery and give the baby up._

_"It won't be," I agreed, "Nothing good and worthwhile ever is easy"_


	8. Julie's Nightmare

Julie came home and feeling very tired she said hello to Mr. Monk and went to sleep pretty quickly.

"The pregnancy," Monk asked

"Yes," Natalie said, "and I'm still angry just thinking about what happened today."

"What happened today?"

"Some **jerk** called Julie fat and said all sorts of horrible things to her"

"Why would anyone do that?"

"Why should I care? I wanted to sock the girl"

"Sounds like you were pretty angry"  
In her sleep Julie was tossing and turning. She was having a bad dream. _**In her dream she was 4 or 5 months along and she started to show. Everyone was making fun of her. Some person threw something at her. It hit her in the stomach. Would she be okay? Would the baby survive? She wasn't worried so much about herself. Her life wasn't important at the moment. It was the baby's life that mattered. She fell to the floor. A friend saw and ran to get the school nurse. Suddenly she found herself in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.  
**_  
"Forgive the expression," Natalie said, "But don't I have the right to be angry"

"Of course you have the right to be angry," Monk said, "As for the right to **remain **angry… well you have that right. However I wouldn't use it if I were you?"

"Why not?"

"For your own sake if not for Julie's"

"This bitch called-"

"Was Julie upset?"

"No"

"How did she react?"

"She spoke to the girl. She found out why the girl was being so mean. Apparently her little brother has cancer, her parents are getting divorced and her mom just had a miscarriage."  
_**Julie was praying all though the ride to the hospital. She didn't care about herself. All she cared about was the baby. Subconsciously she realized that if one of them had to die she would rather it be her than the baby. The baby still had her… or his life ahead of her… or him. She had already gone to school. The baby hadn't even gone outside of her womb. She had experienced both good times (which she liked) and bad times (which she'd rather not repeat). The baby hadn't gotten a chance to do either. Julie knew she was this baby's cousin. She wasn't her mother. That was Denise's pleasure. She also knew that she loved this baby and if she miscarried she was going to die of sadness.**_

"Wow," Monk said, "It sounds like she's going through a rough time"

"And I should care because?"

"Natalie do you think your feelings are healthy for Julie?"  
That gave Natalie pause. Were her feelings healthy for Julie? Even without her pregnancy Natalie was always very protective of Julie. She hated it when anything hurt Julie and she wanted to hurt back. Natalie rarely let her anger control her. She rarely got angry. She could think of one time where she came close to getting mad and even than she managed to hold back. She knew however that once she did get angry it was hard to let go. She didn't like that feeling. She hated when she got that way for many reasons but especially because it hurt Julie.  
_**When she got to the hospital she was rushed in. She was bleeding a little bit and visibly shaken but there was no damage to the baby. **_

"_**You're going to have to be on bed-rest for the rest of the pregnancy. There's no damage right now but you're really not in the best shape. You're a little young to be having a baby in the first place. What were you thinking?"  
Julie explained the situation to the doctor. **_

"No," Natalie admitted, "It isn't healthy for Julie… my feeling like that. Mr. Monk I'm just so scared"

"What are you scared of," he asked her.  
She looked at him like, 'you've got to be kidding.'

"My daughter is pregnant," she said, 'I almost died when I gave birth to her. What am I supposed to feel… calm"  
Monk was quiet for a second.

"The first year I was on the force I had to make my first arrest. It was routine. That all changed when I snapped on the cuffs and the person started to have a seizure. I found out three things that day. First, I learned that the person was allergic to something on the handcuffs… probably the metal. The second thing I learned was that she was innocent. Third thing that I learned was that I felt like crap afterwards. For the longest time ever I was afraid to do that again. Did I let those fears control me? I did for a little while, until Trudy told me to stop being insane. You **almost** died having Julie. You're still alive. My friend almost died. She's still alive. Bad things happen. It is horrible when bad things happen but you cannot control that. You can't control what happens to you but you can control how you respond to it."  
Natalie started to respond but heard Julie crying out and went into her room.

"Julie honey?"

"Bad dream," Julie said shaking.

"What was it about," Natalie asked.  
Julie told her.

"If I lose this baby," she cried, "I'm going to let down Aunt Denise and Uncle Peter"

"Honey it's not going to happen," Natalie said, "You are not going to lose this baby. The baby is very strong and it's only in the first month."

"I know but-"

"No buts," Natalie said, "We don't do negative"  
Julie smiled

"And," Natalie added, "If it does happen, which it won't you will not let your aunt and uncle down. I promise"  
Julie did feel a lot better but she wasn't tired anymore.

"Hey," Monk said, "I have an idea. Let's take in a movie"


	9. Sean's Point of View

Alexandra is my character_

* * *

___

I got home from work early that day. I needed to spend time talking with my daughter. She was there on the couch looking like she hadn't moved all day.

"_Allie," I said and she looked up._

"_Hi dad"_

"_We have to talk"_

"_Okay"_

"_Please turn off the TV and look at me," I told her.  
She didn't respond. I treated it as if she didn't hear me._

"_Alexandra," I repeated, "Please turn off the TV and look at me"  
She turned off the TV._

"_Now," I said, "You know I love you right?"_

"_I do now," she said._

"_We have been going through a lot and I've let you fall by the wayside. I am sorrier about that then you can possibly begin to guess."_

"_Dad its okay," she said, "Winnie was sick and-"_

"_Winnie isn't my only child?"_

"_No but she's your real child"  
I forced Alexandra to look at me._

"_You are as much my daughter as she is," I told her._

"You adopted me after you and mom got married"

"_That doesn't make her any more my child then you are. Alex, you have a problem"_

"_I know. I'll be better"_

"_Honey it doesn't work like that. If you had Pneumonia for example you can't just will yourself to get better."_

"_I know but-"_

_"There are INHAB treatment programs that you can go to get better and you're going"_

"_Dad I'll be fine"_

"_It doesn't work like that. If a program could get Winnie better don't you think she should go?"  
She looked thoughtfully then asked, "How long am I going to be away for?"_

"_It's not like that," I told her, "You'll be at this program until you're better"_

"_But what if I don't get better," she asked terrified._

"_That isn't going to happen," I told her, "I refuse to lose you"_

"_I'm scared," she told me.  
I hugged her._

"_I know you are," I said, "and I'm scared too"_

"_Will I ever see you again?"_

"_Of course you will," I told her, "Every week."_

_"But with Winnie being sick," she said, "How are we going to even pay for the program?"_

_"Don't you worry about that," I told her, "That's my concern. It's not your concern"_

"_Dad I-"_

"_Alex, I have it under control. You can trust me"_

_She looked at me and said, "I do daddy… I do"  
I hugged her and then I thought of Julie. Thank GOD she wasn't going to be raising that baby. I loved both of my daughters but at 11 I couldn't even tie my shoes let alone raise children._


	10. Movie Night

I own the ticket lady

* * *

Monk took Julie and Natalie to the movie theater.

"So what do you feel like seeing," he asked them.  
There were plenty to choose from but Julie got really excited when she saw that **Camelot **was playing. Camelot was her favorite movie and now they were doing a remake of it.

"I vote for Camelot," Julie said  
Natalie really didn't care too much for that show. She never told Julie though because she knew how much Julie enjoyed it.

"Camelot is fine with me," Natalie said, "I really like that movie"  
She was lying through her butt.

"That will be $22.00 please," the ticket lady said

"Can we make that an even $20," Monk asked.  
The ticket lady sighed.

"No Mr. Monk. I'm sorry but it's not my decision."  
Monk sighed inwardly but he didn't do anything embarrassing. He couldn't.

"But maybe-"

"I'm sorry Mr. Monk," the ticket lady said, "but if I were to do that I would be fired from my job"

"Tell you what," Natalie said, "I'll pay for the movie tickets and you go get the snacks."

"Okay," Monk said gratefully.  
Natalie smiled at him encouragingly while he went to the snack counter.

"So Julie," he said, "what do you want?"

"A large popcorn," Julie said

"Ten large popcorns please," Monk said.

"WHAT," Julie said

"Ten's a better number," Monk said  
Trudy's spirit, who was watching this rolled her eyes and laughed. She was used to her husband's craziness. She really missed him. A tear rolled down her eyes. It was so unfair that she should be taken. Some **jackass **decided to plant a bomb ending her life.

"Mr. Monk, how are we even going to carry 10 boxes of popcorn?"

"**We're** not," Monk said, "In your condition you are not going to carry anything."  
Trudy was so proud of her husband. He really cared about Julie. He would have made a great dad. For the most part… there were some times where he was about as clueless as a $4.00 bill. She could remember one time when he had been very insensitive to one of his friends and couldn't understand why she was so upset with him.  
Trudy watched as he put the popcorns in a bag and put an arm around Julie. They went into the theater with Natalie trailing a little bit behind.

"You okay Mr. Monk," Julie asked in a whisper.

"I think so," Monk whispered.  
The truth is Adrian Monk was not okay. He was far from okay. He hadn't been okay in a long time.

"Mr. Monk?"

"It's nothing Julie," he told her, "I guess I'm just a little emotional today"

"I hear you," Julie whispered, "I've been that way since I got pregnant"  
He laughed.  
Julie and him talked for a few more minutes until the movie started. All through the movie Monk kept thinking about some things that he wished he could have done differently.  
After the movie Monk took them out to dinner. Julie chose an Italian restaurant and had the pasta. Monk had a slice of pizza but he couldn't really eat. His mind was on other things.

"Mr. Monk," Natalie said gently, "you're thinking about the fight aren't you?"  
Monk had recently had a bad argument with Sharona. He hated the fact that he upset one of his friends but he hadn't known what else to do.  
He nodded.

"I don't know how to resolve this," he said, "and I don't even know what brought these feelings on"

"Mr. Monk," Natalie told him, "You know what you need to know. You know what to do"

"I can't change it," he said

"You can apologize," she pointed out, "and explain"

"That's true," he said, "I can do that"

"Do you need a ride," she asked him  
He shook his head.

"I think I'm going to drive. I… need some time to collect my thoughts."


	11. Sharona's Point of View

****

AN: To my anonymous reviewer I am sorry if you don't enjoy the story but just because you don't doesn't mean that others don't. Your review was non constructive and that is why I chose to delete it. If you don't like it don't read it. No I don't have children and no I wouldn't let my 11 year old daughter do this however as I said it is not fan**-fact-**tion but fan**fiction

* * *

**

_It was about 7 o'clock at night when the doorbell rang. Benjy had just gone to bed. He wasn't feeling too well and I was cleaning up the kitchen.  
I went to answer the door and was surprised to find Adrian was there. He stood there with tears in his eyes. I was really getting a little concerned._

"_Adrian?"_

"_Sharona," he said, "can I- may I come in"_

"_Of course," I stepped out of the way to let him in._

"_Thank you," he said softly._

"_Did something happen," I asked him._

"_Well… yes and no," he said._

_"Come on in," I told him.  
I got him some Seriera Springs water and sat him down._

"_Now what happened," I asked him._

"_A few months ago," he said, "I was an insensitive jerk to you"  
I blinked. I couldn't believe he was upset about that. I had forgotten about it a long time ago. Then again this is Adrian we're talking about._

"_Adrian," I said but before I could say another word he interrupted._

_"Hear me out Sharona," he begged, "You see… when we had the argument we had I couldn't understand why you ignored me. I also couldn't understand why you were so angry with me."  
Years ago the fact that he didn't get it would have irritated the hell out of me. I started to explain but he interrupted again._

_"You were going through a very difficult time. I acted like your feelings didn't even matter. I was being insensitive and didn't like being called on my behavior and so I didn't know how to act. The way that I decided to handle a very sensitive situation was in a way that was very __insensitive__."  
I stared at him. I was impressed by his understanding but I still didn't understand why he drove all this way just to tell me what I already knew. _

_"Sharona," he said, "there's no way I could possibly ever apologize enough or make it up to you but I need you to understand that you were and still are a major part of my life. You are my best friend… if it weren't for you I wouldn't be alive today"_

"_Adrian," I asked, "where is all of this coming from"  
He was quiet for a few seconds and then he responded._

"_Julie's pregnant," he explained._

"_Julie…"_

"_Natalie's daughter"  
I thought I was going to be sick._

"_She's just a kid. She's not that far apart from Benjy in age"_

_"Here's the thing," Adrian said, "It's not her baby"  
I blinked. I can understand it if he had said, "it's not __his __baby" but how could it not be her baby. He told me the story. Tears welled up in my eyes._

"_This 11-year-old girl knows more then me about being sensitive and compassionate. I'm an adult and I didn't get it. If I had gotten it I would have been able to-"_

"_That's the key word Adrian," I said gently  
He looked at me confused._

"_What's the key word," he asked_

"_Able to," I said, "You didn't act the way you should have because you weren't __able __to do so"_

"_But why wasn't I able to do so," he asked_

"_I don't know why you weren't able to do so," I admitted, "I think that was largely because you're uncomfortable when you aren't in control"_

"_GOD am I ever," he said, "It's like poison for me not to be in control. The more out of control I felt the more I would try to be in control. The more I would try to be in control the more out of control things got-"_

_I laughed._

"_That's called a vicious cycle," I told him._

"_I don't much like it," he said._

"_Adrian," I said gently, "I know exactly how you were feeling. You felt like you were drowning."_

"_I was the loser all along," he whispered._

"_NO," I told him firmly, "Adrian you do a lot of things that don't make sense but you are not a loser. You are a kind, good and gentle person"_

"_But I-"_

"_What you made mistakes? I'll let you in on a little secret. Everyone in this entire world makes mistakes"_

"_Trudy never did," he whispered.  
I didn't believe that for even a second but arguing that with him would be impossible. _

"_Trudy never made mistakes," I asked_

"_Never?"_

"_What about the time that she got arrested because she was wearing lipstick?"_

"_That was because Randy was being an idiot and he paid for being an idiot."_

"_Okay," I said dropping the subject argument, "even if Trudy never made mistakes most people do"_

"_Then why did you both ignore me and make it clear that you were annoyed with my behavior," he asked.  
I looked at him like, 'you're kidding right?'_

"_Adrian," I told him, "You know the answer to that. You're __here __because you know the answer to that. That being said, I will answer your question. I felt as if you didn't care about me as a person ever since you became friends with Natalie."_

"_Well I didn't. Natalie's one of my best friends," he told me, "but you've been my best friend first and you always will be. I have to go now," he said, "I… I enjoyed seeing you again"  
I smiled at him._

"_Adrian," I said softly._

"_Yes?"_

"_You're welcome back any time"_

"_Thank you Sharona," he said, "I will definitely see you again"_


	12. The Long Night's Drive Into Day

"You like her don't you?"  
Monk looked in the passenger side. He smiled when he saw Trudy.

"Do I like who," he asked

"Natalie," Trudy said

"She's my friend. Of course I like her."

"Adrian you know what I mean," Trudy said sternly but with a gentle smile.

"I… like her. Do I love her? I can't love her!"

"Why can't you?"

"Because," Adrian said, "I love you"  
At that the dam broke and she started crying.

"Trudy," he asked gently

"Oh Adrian I love you too. I always have and I always will. I think it is so G_D unfair that someone ended our time together. I also know that the day will come where we will be together again. I know it will come. Until then you have to allow yourself the right to be happy"

"I am happy," he told her, "You're here with me and I am happy"

"Adrian I'm dead," she told him

"You're still here," he told her

"Yes. I am here but I've been dead for years"

"You still alive to me," he told her.  
He reached out and took her hand.

"Do you remember the day we met," she asked him

"I could never forget," he said, "I was working at the library in Berkley and a GODESS came into my sight. You had to return a book to the library and you were really late. It had come to $15.00"

"I remember," she said smiling, "I saw you and I had said, 'I'm just here to return this. I know it's a little late' and you frowned nervously"

"I **was **nervous," he told her, "and feeling guilty at the same time"

"Why were you feeling guilty," she asked him

"Why was I feeling guilty? I felt like I was steeling that $15.00 from you"

"Far from it," she told, "as a matter of fact if I recall correctly that was the first time you had protected me."  
He smiled then his eyes grew sad.

"Adrian?"  
He didn't respond. He didn't seem to hear her.

"Earth to Adrian," she laughed

"I'm sorry," he said, "I just didn't hear you"

"What's wrong darling?"

"It's stupid," he said

"It is not stupid," she told him with a hint of reprimand in her voice, "nothing you say… well almost nothing you say is stupid"

He sighed.

"Trudy I was able to protect you so many times but I couldn't protect you from the **damn **bomb that ended your life"

"Oh Adrian," she said quietly, "you can't blame yourself for that"  
He shook his head.

"I can't," he said, "but I do. I was able to protect you from so much-"

"But the person who did this was going to win eventually"

"I know but I don't like that I lost you. I want you to be with me again"

"Well," she said quietly, "maybe that will happen"

"It will," he said excitedly

"I didn't say **will.** I said **might**"

"Actually you did say will," he pointed out.

"No," she said, "I said **might. **I said **maybe **it will happen. The emphasis wasn't on the will. It was on the **maybe."**

"What does it depend on," he asked

"Too many things to even start to explain right now," she said, "and the Heavenly Father rarely allows for it. I was thinking about asking Him."

"Thinking about it?"

"Adrian it's very complicated. There are specific conditions and it wouldn't be forever… at least not right now. The day will come where it will be forever. That day though can't be when and if this happens. Seven years is the longest we could possibly have together here."  
He would chop off his arms with a pooper scooper in order to get **7 more minutes **with her. Seven more years with her would be heaven. Trudy was like nobody he had ever met. Her love was **unconditional**.He could remember one time when they had a difference of opinion. That was no big deal. Most couples do. He would even go so far as to say all couples do. He could not rid himself of his guilt.

'_**Things are different now,' **_he remembered telling her.

'_**Why… because we had a difference of opinion? Adrian people disagree sometimes. That doesn't change us'**_

'_**Do you still love me," he asked**_  
Trudy had laughed and told him it's a good thing for him that asking ridiculous questions wasn't a crime. He tried to pin a stern look on her when she said that but he started laughing too.

'_**Adrian,' she said, 'I will never stop loving you. It would be impossible to **__**not**__** love you because you are my heart. Without you I'm only half a person'**_

"Can I ask you a quick question Adrian," she asked

"I think you just did," he teased and she laughed.

"Do you remember the time that the imposter pretended to be me?"

"That's not exactly something I can easily forget," he laughed, "Of course I remember that"

"Now remember there is no wrong answer. What would you have done if she had actually been me?"

"I… can't really say that I know," he admitted, "because-"

"Adrian there's no right or wrong"

"I really think I would be very conflicted. My head would be screaming at me to do what I had to do and my heart would be yelling even louder to protect you"

"Would you have still loved me?"

"Trudy even after my heart stops beating I will continue to love you. You are my soul and my heart."

"You know I did fight to live"

"I know you did," he said, "I should have been there. I should have been able to save you and I should have been a better friend to Sharona!"

"You can't live in the past," she told him.

"I don't live in the past… do I?"

"Honey you live in the past worse then Natalie lives in the past," she said

"Natalie lives in the past?"

"She's terrified of Julie's pregnancy because **she **almost died having Julie 11-years-ago."

"That also may have something to do with the fact that Julie's only 11-years-old herself," he pointed out.

"It might," she said with a smile, "but it still has something to do with the fact that she-"

"I know," he said.  
He knew he had to let go of the past but he didn't know how.

"You have to let go of the past," Trudy said gently

"I know I do," he said, "but I don't know how. I don't know how to be when I feel like everything is spinning out of control"  
Trudy smiled.

"If you had a chance to go back and change things-"

"I would **definitely **do it differently;" he said empathically, "I mean… just because something ends doesn't mean the feelings end"

"What would you have changed in the Sharona situation," she asked him  
He paused for a minute before he answered.

"If I could go back I would have been more sensitive to how she was feeling," he explained, "I wouldn't have brushed it off. I would have listened to what she was saying. I would have acknowledged that she had been through a lot. I would have shared with her how much her friendship meant to me… means to me. I would have told her that just because I'm friends with Natalie doesn't mean I'm not friends with her. I would have **not **treated her like she was so stupid kid and her feelings didn't matter… not to say that children's feelings don't matter because they do."

"I know what you mean Adrian," she told him, "Why do you suppose you **didn't **act that way?"  
He shook his head.

"I don't have to suppose," he said, "I can tell you in half a second. I felt like everything was out of control. 1It was like being in the middle of the cold war and freezing to death in between it"

"And," she asked

"She called me insensitive," he added, "and I didn't like being called insensitive"

"Keep going," she said

"Do I have to," he asked

"Keep going," she said again.

"I don't deal well with emotions," he said, "I never did at all until you came along"

"Adrian… I think there's something you may not even be realizing."

"What's that?"

"You felt empty. You felt like you had a huge hole in your heart"

"There was no feel like about it," he said, "I **did **have a huge hole in my heart because…"

"You were angry about that," she added

"Of course I was angry about it," he said, "I felt like nobody understood how I was feeling. I felt like I was totally lost in a world where nobody cared about-"

"You wanted your feelings to be understood," she continued.  
He stared at her in amazement.

"How did you do that?"

"How did I do what," she asked

"How did you know exactly what-"

"Adrian," she told him, "You need to understand this. It is vital that you follow your heart… let love lead you this time."

"You mean you can let me get a second chance?"

"Of course," she told him, "But it is very important you let love lead this time"

"I will," he promised, "no insensitivity, no negativity no nothing this time"  
She smiled at him.

"Cute," she told him

"But true," he added

"But true," she acknowledged  
Trudy had a way of making her point in a way that was gentle but firm. She could be as tough as anything when she needed to be but she was also as soft as a teddy bear.  
That was one thing he liked about Sharona. She was gentle at times but she scared him. One time when she was particularly angry with him she had turned the TV volume up to the loudest level.

"_**Okay," he said, "I get it but do you have to watch so loud"**_

"_**Did you have to be such a jerk," she said**_

"_**I wasn't being a jerk… you were the one that-"  
That conversation went on for almost 4 ½ hours.  
**_He pulled up to his house and got in.

"Get some sleep Adrian," Trudy told him

"Would you stay with me," he asked

"I'm not going anywhere," she promised, "You don't have to hold on so tight. I'm not going to disappear. I promise"

"I love you," he whispered as he fell asleep

1 I borrowed that line from Bob Wright's story

* * *

Please note my take on this is that Adrian clings so tightly to the people he loves because he's afraid to lose them like he lost Trudy. When he's saying "You can't do this or that or whatever" what he's really screaming out is, "I CAN'T LOSE YOU LIKE I LOST TRUDY". It's not that he loves anyone the way he loves Trudy. He doesn't. He never will be able to. But he loves his friends in a different way. With Trudy he's more insuecure because she's not a permenant. Being that she's passed away he clings to her whenever she's with him


	13. Denise's Point of View

Patrick, Nina and Trinity are my own characters _

* * *

__**any **__form or punishment. I would much rather __**talk **__to my child and __**reason **__with my child then to put him or her in time out. I would much rather have them do a make up for something they did wrong then to take away their TV privileges.  
Peter said that children can't be reasoned with. I suggested that we remove him or her from the situation and distract him or her. Peter always tells me not everything is cut and dry, black and white.  
His brother Patrick thinks it is. He says love is always right. Peter agrees with that but not to the extent that Patrick does. If there is anyone more black and white on the subject of love then Patrick it would be me. Nina, my sister-in-law by marriage (Patrick's wife) says that it's a wonder __**I **__wasn't married to Patrick because we could be clones._

Some people chose to get mad. Some people chose to be negative. Peter and I chose not to but we can understand how some people could feel it would be a good idea.  
In my niece, growing inside her is a baby. I have so many questions going through my mind.  
Is the baby a boy or a girl? Peter and I decided not to find out.  
Would the baby have brown hair like Peter or would he or she be a blonde like me? Would he or she have blue eyes like me or hassle eyes like Peter? Would he or she be a quiet baby? Will he or she cry a lot at night? Will he or she favor the back pat or the back rub as a burping style? What burping position would he or she favor?  
Peter and I talked about parenting styles. We disagreed on some things. The bedtime routine is a good example. Peter believes after about 3 months you should start letting the baby cry it out. I don't believe in cry it out ever. Peter says children need to learn to comfort themselves and sooth themselves back to sleep. I disagreed. We decided that at one year we'll start letting the baby fuss it out and then by 18 months we'll move onto cry it out. I wasn't completely happy with the idea but maybe it wouldn't even be necessary. Maybe by then the baby will be sleeping already on his or her own.  
We also discussed discipline styles. We both agreed that physical discipline would be out of the question. Neither of us believes in it. The difference though is I don't believe in

"_If I wanted a clone," I told her, "I would have cloned myself"  
Peter gave into me on that one with the condition that I wouldn't get all over him if he does make a mistake. I promised I wouldn't.  
I remember talking to Nina one time and we had a very deep conversation. It was actually Nina and I and a third friend of ours. We were all married to officers. We met for breakfast one day and the following conversation came about._

"_Denise," Nina asked, "Can I ask you and Trinity a question?"_

"_Well I can't speak for Trinity," I said laughing, "but go ahead and ask me"_

"_Do you ever worry? I know I do sometimes"  
Trinity rolled her eyes._

"_Who doesn't," she asked, "but you can't let that worry control you"_

"_What I find most irritating," I said, "is when people… namely my friends get angry with me because of something I have absolutely __**no control over**__"_

"_Tell me about it," Trinity said, "I can't stand that. Why did __he__ do this? (She said in a mimicking tone) HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT?"_

"_Do you get scared whenever the phone rings?"_

"_What? Why would I get scared when the phone rings?"_

"_I do," she said_

"_Why," Trinity asked_

"_You really have to ask? I always worry it may be the news no people like us want to hear"_

"_Yeah but you know what," Trinity said, "That can happen to anyone. I mean seriously. You can die just breathing the wrong air. You can't spend your life worrying about something that will probably never happen."_

"_You are such an optimist," Nina teased_

"_Not always," Trinity replied, "I got mad as hell at my husband a couple of times for doing some idiotic things"_

"_What sort of idiotic things has he done," I asked_

"_Well __**nothing **__can top the time that he actually attempted to arrest my sister"_

"_Why was that idiotic?"_

"_Because all she did was say that the METS were going to win the series?"_

"_So?"_

"_He had hedged a bet on the Yankees"  
We all laughed._

"_That's not as bad as what my sister's boss did to his wife's best friend once," I said_

"_Oh what was that," Trinity asked_

"_He tried to arrest her because she was wearing mismatched socks"_

"_You have got to be kidding," Trinity laughed, "Even Monk wouldn't go that far"_

_"More like he would," I said, "and he did"_

"_Well since its Monk," Trinity said, "that shouldn't surprise me… but it does"  
We all laughed. We all knew him. He was the talk of the town in our husbands' line. He was a good guy of course. There was no question about that. Some of the things he did however really got him into trouble. His OCD got in the way of him living a normal life and that was sad.  
Peter liked the idea of feeding the baby on a schedule and getting him or her to sleep on a schedule. I didn't think that was a good idea. I was afraid it might turn him or her OCD. Peter thought that I was wrong. I thought I was right. We went round and round about this one until we reached a fair compromise._

_"How about this," Peter said, "We'll do a demand schedule until 18 months and then start easing him or her into a schedule of our choice"  
I thought it over and agreed. _

"_But we just don't rush him or her into it," I said, "We have to __**ease **__them into it?"_

"_Exactly. Sort of like how girls need to be eased into being winners"  
I glared at him._

"_Peter," I said, "I may not be pregnant but trust me you do not want to make me angry"_

"_Sorry honey," he said humbly _

"_Apology accepted," I told him, "and the next time, think before you talk"  
I grinned again. It's true that I wasn't pregnant but I was still going to have a baby. In just eight more months the child that I have dreamed of for years would finally be mine. _

"_What are we going to name it," Peter mused._

"_I'm not sure… I have an idea for a boy's name but I don't know about a girl yet."_

"_What name were you thinking about for a boy," he asked her._

"_Zachary," I said, "after my little brother."  
Tears filled my eyes. My brother drowned 3 years after he was born. I only knew him for three years but he had a huge impact on my life.  
Peter, who is normally a very pragmatic person, understood how important this was to me and nodded in agreement._

"_What about Angela for a girl," he asked, "or Angel"_

"_I like that," I said, "Maybe Angela with Angel as a nickname"_

"_That would work," he said_

"_After your friend," he explained, "since she's an angel name"_

_"You're hoping for a boy aren't you," I asked him_

"_Actually," he said, "I will love whatever we have but I'd prefer a girl"  
I was extremely surprised. Most men wanted boys so the family name could be carried forward. I have to admit though, I knew a man that ended up taking his wife's name. No, that wasn't Peter. Peter Devonport would be a stupid name. The boy that I knew that took his wife's name was Mark Hopshit. I kid you not. His wife's name was Peppermint… not great but definitely not as bad as Hopshit. I still applaud him for his decision to take his wife's name._

_"Zack or Angel," I said testing it out slowly_

"_What about middle names?"_

"_For a boy I like either Joseph or Tyler," I said, "and for a girl… I don't know—maybe Lauren?"  
He made a face._

_"What? What's wrong with the name Lauren?"_

"_It's too common, too plain"_

"_Oh you're such a fancy-pants," I teased him, "What about Sally?"_

"_ANGELA SALLY? EW AND THAT'S ALSO PLAIN"_

"_It's not plain. It's simple"_

"_Simply ugly"_

"_Margo?"_

"_Denise!"_

"_Well then you come up with something," I challenged him  
He thought for a minute then a slow smile spread across his face._

"_Clarity," he decided_

"_Angela Clarity… I like it"_

"_Just like?"_

"_I really like it"  
He looked disappointed._

"_I was hoping you would love it"_

"_Well maybe if we changed it just a smidge to Charlise"_

"_Charlise? Denise you have got to be joking!"  
I stuck out my tongue playfully_

"_How about Marie?"_

"_No"_

"_How about Jane? That's my sister's middle name"_

"_No!"_

"_How about Ann?"_

"_Angela Ann?"_

"_How about Patricia?"_

"_What is it with you and filler names?"_

"_Come on," I said, "I'm trying just as hard as you are"_

"_No you're not. You're not thinking. You're taking this like a joke?"_

"_I am not. You need to have more-" I snapped my finger, "that's it. I have her middle name"_

"_Tell me?"_

"_Patience"_

"_Angela Patience. You know what Denise?"_

"_What?"_

"_I love that name"_

"_Well… it's a __**step **__in the right direction," I said  
He froze._

_"I dunno," he said_

"_Huh?"_

"_Come on," he laughed, "I got your __**not so subtle **__hint"_

"_It wasn't a hint," I told him, "and don't go into how the whole speech right now. My head is throbbing like you would not believe"  
Peter looked concerned. The last time I had a headache like that it turned out to be a brain tumor. _

"_Denise have you-"_

"_It's not a tumor," I assured him, "I just had a doctor's appointment. It's just my migraine"  
Looking relieved he threw an arm around me._

"_Well why don't we skip the nightly routine tonight? You look like you could use a night of rest"  
I smiled at him gratefully._

"_Thank you Peter," I said, "I love you"_

"_Love you more," he whispered_

"_Not possible," I teased_


	14. Adrian's Second Chance

Brenda is my creation. However she was inspired by theicemenace

* * *

When Adrian woke up he noticed 3 things. First he noticed that it was December 20th, 3 months ago. Second he noticed that he was sitting in the living room. The 3rd thing he had noticed was that he had been given a second chance. He wasn't going to blow it this time. He watched Sharona get up and walk out of the room, clearly very upset. He followed after her and knocked on the door.

"Sharona," he asked gently

"What?"

"Look, I know you. You're not a mean person. You can be tough as nails but you are one of the kindest and most gentle people I know… second only to Trudy. So you can understand that I'm a little surprised at how abrupt you were with Natalie today. You want to tell me what's going on?"

"Well I-"

"Not through the bathroom door," he said, "come on out"  
Very slowly the doorknob turned and Sharona walked out.

"Do you want to go outside where it's more private?"

"It's freezing outside," she pointed out, "How about the kitchen?"  
Adrian glanced at the kitchen. There were people in the room.

"People come in and out there," he said, "there's no privacy… what if we went into my room and talked?"

"Okay," Sharona agreed.  
She followed him into his bedroom. He locked the door, took a seat on the rocking chair and motioned for her to sit on the bed.

"The bed's more comfortable," he explained

"So you noticed I haven't been myself lately huh?"

"Well it's kind of hard to miss"  
Sharona sighed.

"It's not a happy story," she said

"It never is," he teased laughing a little but stopped as tears filled her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said, "Please go on"

"You know," Sharona began, "That Benjy came along when I was 19"

"Yes I do know that," he said

"What you don't know is that Benjy was not my first child"  
He was clearly shocked.

"But you were so young when you had Benjy"

"When Brenda was born I was 15. My parents wanted me to abort her but I refused"

"Did you give her up for adoption?"

"No I kept her. She was born with a heart condition and she passed away on December 30th three years after she was born. At that point Trevor and I had just gotten married and I was lightly pregnant with Benjy"  
Tears filled Adrian's eyes now.

"I am so sorry," he said softly.

"You couldn't have known," she said, "even if you are the world's greatest detective"  
He smiled at her

"Well I don't know about the **greatest…** but I definitely come close"  
She playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"I do love you," he told her, "and you need to know that"

"I do," she said softly

"Sometimes I just don't know how to handle situations because I-"

"Adrian?"

"Yeah?"

"You did a damn good job," she said

_Not the first time, _he thought to himself. He didn't say that though. She didn't know about the first time.

"Thanks," he said smiling.  
Sudden Adrian felt like he was falling and he landed right on his bed. Trudy was next to him.

"You did great," she told him.

"You're back," he said excitedly but she sadly shook her head.

"Not yet Adrian," she told him, "There's a long way to go before we reach that point"  
He frowned but then cheered up.

"So He said yes?"

"He said wait. That means yes but not now"

"I don't care about that. He said yes"  
Trudy kissed him as he fell asleep.


	15. Trudy's Point of View

_When I first died I missed my husband so badly it hurt. I was sad that I had been stolen from him. I was angry that he was hurting so much because someone decided my life wasn't worth it. Heaven was perfect but it wasn't perfect at the same time. He wasn't there. The man that I lived for and the man that taught me to love, wasn't there anymore. He was in his sector and I was in mine. I missed him so much I would find myself crying.  
As time passed it got easier. Heaven began to bring me joy. I made new friends there and started growing. Still, at night when I went to sleep Adrian wasn't there. I visited him as much as I was allowed to but not being with him hurt badly. Slowly the pain started to go away and I just started looking forward to the times I could see him. Then I heard about Julie carrying Peter and Denise's babies… that's right, babies. There's going to be one of each. It made me miss him even more then ever. It was something I could never have. Oh, I had Molly. But I could never have a child with him. That hurt deep down inside. The Father noticed my sadness_

"_Trudy," He asked gently._

"_I'm sorry," I said _

"_No need to be," He told me, "Come on what's wrong?"  
I shook my head._

"_It's stupid," I told Him_

"_I doubt it," He told me_

"_Sometimes I really miss Adrian," I admitted, "and the rest of my family too"_

"_That's not stupid," he said, "They are a part of you"_

"Yes but I'm in heaven," I pointed out

"_That doesn't mean you lose your emotions and feelings," he replied, "You're still miss the people you left behind"_

"_I know that I won't see him again for awhile"  
He was quiet for a minute._

"_That… may not be true," He said  
My eyes lit up._

"_You mean I can go back," I asked_

"_Yes you can," He said, "for one thing you were taken to soon. For another, you and Adrian were supposed to go together"_

"_We were," I asked again_

_ "Yes you were," the Father said  
He told me that I would have 7 more years and then Adrian and I would enter heaven together. I started to say 'thank you' but I found myself at the apartment that Adrian and I shared. Feeling shy all of a sudden I rang the doorbell. Adrian answered the door._

"_TRUDY," he exclaimed, "It's really you"_

"_It's really me," I told him kissing him, "May I come in"  
He looked at me like, 'did you seriously just ask that'? I only saw that look one other time when I asked a __**really**__ dumb question._

_"Of course Trudy," he said, "this is __**our **__place, not just mine"  
He stepped aside so that I could come in. Just as he did that the phone rang. I reached for the phone then remembered it might not be the best idea. I mean most people knew I was dead and whoever was on the other line would probably have a heart attack if they heard my voice. He put it on speaker phone though._

"_Hello?"_

"_Adrian, how are you son?"  
It was my dad. I so wanted to talk._

"_I'm better than I've ever been in my life," he told him grinning at me._

_ "Does this have to do with a girl," dad asked.  
I thought I was going to wet myself laughing._

"_It's an… interesting situation to say the least"_

"_What makes it so interesting," dad asked_

"_Let's just say I have a little surprise for you," Adrian replied_

_"Marsha and I will be up in a few hours," dad said, "can you give me a clue?"_

"_Sure. It's something you will not be expecting," he said than looked at me, "and something you were expecting a long time ago"  
Dad didn't say a word and I could picture him running his hands through his hair trying to figure it out._

"_Something I won't be expecting," he repeated, "but something I-"_

"_Not but, and," Adrian said, "Something you weren't expecting __**and **__were expecting a long time ago."  
Mom got on the phone._

"_So Adrian," she said, "we're coming up in a few hours. It's okay if we stop by isn't it?"_

"_Of course it is," Adrian said, "Like I told 'dad' I have a bit of a surprise for you"_

"_Nothing bad I hope"_

"_Oh just the opposite," Adrian said laughing. I laughed too. _

"_It's something you'll never be expecting but were once expecting"_

"_That makes no sense," mom said  
To most people it wouldn't. Adrian I'm sure would have no trouble figuring it out. Of course Adrian __**is **__the world's greatest detective. I don't care what he says. _

"_Okay here's another clue," he said, "you will __**truly **__be surprised"_

_ "Well considering you said it's a __**surprise **__I would imagine that I would be very surprised"  
I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing out loud. Obviously my mom doesn't get it. _

"_Not very," Adrian said feeling safe, "__**TRULY**__"  
_


	16. They TRUDY were Surprised

Ruth and Lauren are my own creation

* * *

Dwight and Marsha talked of nothing else but those strange clues throughout the entire ride up there.

"How can we be expecting something we would never be expecting," Marsha asked

"What was the other clue?"

"We'll be truly surprised," Marsha shared with her husband

"Truly surprised? I feel like there's something there I should be catching onto but for some reason I can't figure it out"

"He placed in emphasis on the word truly," Marsha said

"He did?"

"Yes. I said, 'I'm sure we will be very surprised,' and he goes, 'not very… **truly…**I know what I hope it is but I also know that the odds of it being what I hope it is are about 40 million to -300"

"What do you hope it is," Dwight asked

"What do you think," she said careful not to sound like she was talking back or being rude  
_**When Marsha was pregnant her sister was pregnant at the same time. Her sister had already had a daughter named Lauren and as much as Marsha loved her sister they were definitely two very different people. Marsha was very positive and gentle while Ruth was strict albeit loving.**_

_**"I know you think positive is the best way," Ruth told Marsha once, "but trust me you're better off just acting like everyone else"**_

"_**How does everyone else act," Marsha asked a small smile dancing on her face.**_

"_**You have to be in control"**_

"_**Oh so this is an episode of Get Smart," Dwight (who was also there) teased**_

"_**No it's real life. You have to be in control or things can get chaotic. I am sorry for telling you that your opinion is wrong-"**_

"_**My opinion," Marsha said, "is just that. It is an opinion. It isn't wrong. It's my opinion. In the same regard your opinion-"**_

_**"Is based on fact and experience," Ruth pointed out, "which you are lacking… maybe not fact but experience"**_

"_**I will admit that we don't have the experience you have," Dwight replied, "Not as a parent at least but I was raised with no negativity and had nothing but the utmost respect for my parents."**_

"_**You'll soon learn that I'm right," Ruth said, "Come on Lauren it's time to go now"**_

"_**I wanna stay," Lauren argued"**_

"_**Lauren do I need to count to 3"**_

"_**No I go mommy"**_

"_**That's my good girl. We'll be back soon honey"**_

((End flashback))

Still, talking back and being rude was the one thing that annoyed the hell out of Dwight.

"I want that too," he said quietly squeezing her hand

"Life just feels so empty without her sometimes," Marsha said quietly, "I try to pretend that the hurt goes away but-"

"Hurt NEVER goes away," Dwight replied, "that's part of the reason why I don't like hurt"

"I don't think anyone does," Marsha said, "I know it's just fantasy but it's a nice dream isn't it?"  
Dwight smiled softly

"It is a nice dream," he said  
The drive up was long. They got stuck in traffic which normally wouldn't bother either of them but Marsha was anxious to find out what that surprise was.

"Did he say anything about it," she asked Dwight for the 10th time, "Did he tell you what it is?"

"Well no," Dwight said calmly, "that's why they call it a surprise love"

"Doesn't not knowing drive you crazy?"

"No," Dwight responded, "unlike you my dear, I have patience"

"Hey I have patience too," Marsha said, "I just want what I want when I want it and I don't like to wait"

"That's not patience love," Dwight told her with an affectionate sigh though he was not even close to mad.

"So you've pointed out from time to time"

"Well… but it's true," he argued

"So maybe I am a little… unique," she laughed

"I think I would call it enthusiastic," he said with a smile, "So what do you think of the situation with Adrian's assistant's daughter"  
He was trying to change the subject.

"Oh you mean her pregnancy?"

"That would be what I mean," he replied.

"I think that's an incredible thing she's doing for her aunt and uncle," Marsha said, "I could see Trudy offering to do the same thing for someone in our family at Julie's age, though I would have put my foot down about that one right then and there"

"So would I," Dwight said, "there's a lot more to that then anyone could understand. There's a lot of physical and emotional ramifications of it"

"I think the hardest thing for her is going to be losing that child"  
Dwight noticed his wife's eyes were filling up with tears.

"I know," he said, "I miss her too. I miss her every damn day"  
Finally the traffic cleared up and they reached Adrian's apartment.  
When they rang the doorbell they got the greatest surprise of their life. Trudy answered the door.

"Maybe I should have said," Adrian smiled, "that it was something you **trudy **would never expect"


	17. Marsha's Point of View

__

I could still remember when I was 12 years old. All I wanted was a pony. I grew up in California and I remember all my friends had ponies. Mom said I would get tired of the pony after awhile but for Christmas I did get my pony. I thought it was the best birthday gift I could ever get.  
Let me tell you what! Nothing and I do mean nothing compares to this particular moment in time. Getting a pony was the most wonderful thing that could happen to me when I was 12 but there is no comparison to this particular moment. I have lived this moment a hundred times in my fantasy but now it's real.  
I will never forget how excited I was when I found out I was pregnant. Ruth had already had Lauren and she was pregnant again. She had another little girl named Angela. I had the most beautiful baby in the world. She is now the most beautiful WOMAN in the world. My life is now complete. I feel so alive I think I just might faint.  
If I didn't hold onto Dwight I think I would have passed out. I would have been on the floor unable to move breathe or speak though two of these things at the moment were impossible. The only thing that I could comprehend at the moment was this.

_**My daughter **__was still alive. She was an adult but she was still my daughter.  
When Trudy was six years old she wrote __**Moral Bears. **__It was a TV show that lasted 18 months. She had been going through a very tough time. The first dog she ever got, Peaches had just died days before that. She had been sick for a long time and was on medication that was making her feel disgusting. She saw a child being abused at the mall 10 days earlier and for someone like my daughter who was extremely sensitive and doesn't know from negative at all that is traumatic.  
She was so excited that day when Dwight got home from work. She ran out to him (a little too quickly… he had to catch her in his arms to keep her from getting hurt) and told him about what she "wroted". Well he was all too happy to read it. He thought that it was terrific and he as much as told her so. I (who had absolutely no idea what I was talking about by the way) took at one step further. So became the birth of Moral Bears. Moral Bears became a family project. She even played Beary Good Bear (the star of the show) 90% of the time.  
We both agreed that children needed time to be children. Normally it wouldn't have been okay that I took this so far but when your child is going through hell and back you really don't think of the logical part of all of that. How long Moral Bears lived… that was a different story. It lasted 18 months though "some people" (namely Dwight) thought it had run its course after 6 months. It was definitely quite an experience to say the least and it was something I will always treasure.  
I wanted to hug her like I would never let go. I wanted to know how this happened. I wanted to praise the most high for returning my daughter to me. There were so many things I never got a chance to say. There were so many things I never got a chance to do. Now I will. I never doubted that she knew we loved her though. That's the one thing I can say I'm glad about. I have many times wondered if I was making the right choices.  
Any time something bad happens you question yourself. You begin to think, 'should I have done (x)? If I had done (y) just once would this have been avoided?' Many times when you're tired and frustrated the first thing you want to do is get mad or yell or whatever everyone else does. I never give into the temptation to do that. Dwight looks like he's about to pass out just as much as I am. I cannot stop smiling. I cannot stop squealing. I am crying like a baby. I am crying with joy because my baby is back. I want to know how it happened. I don't care how it happened.  
Every time my heart would get lonely and I would miss my baby I would turn on the video tape (or more recently DVD) of Moral Bears. Hearing her voice… it would make me feel like she was here again… like I was with her again. I knew that my life would never be the same again once I had her and once I lost her.  
When Trudy was born we chose the LAFOLK method of birthing. It is when the baby is born in a room with soft music and gently messaged until they start breathing. I loved that so much that when my son… who died at 7 months came along (Trudy was 7 when he was born) we used the LAFOLK method of birthing again. Ellis, our son (yes, Ellis Ellison) died in his sisters arms and for the longest time she kept thinking it was her fault.  
We didn't realize she blamed herself until one day she get so angry she threw a plate and broke it. _

"_Wow," I said, "Something must be upsetting you honey"_

"_Yes," she replied, "my brother is dead and it's all my fault"  
I think Dwight and I were shocked about that._

"_Trudy," I asked her, "why would you blame yourself"_

"_It's not your fault," Dwight added._

"_I was holding him when he died," she said  
Dwight sat her in his lap and looked her straight in the eye. _

"_You want to know something," he said softly, "He was blessed that you were holding him when he died. He was in the arms of someone who loved him"_

"_But I miss him," she said_

"_We always will," Dwight told her, "but he's never gone"_

_"Where is he," Trudy asked_

"_He's in heaven," I told her, "and he's in our heart"_

"_So Uncle Tommy can take a picture of him," she asked innocently_

"_He's invisible. We can't see him but we can feel him"  
She accepted that readily._

"_So he didn't die because I held him?"_

"_Absolutely not," Dwight said firmly, "He died because he was sick"  
My daughter was always in my heart but now she was alive. This had to have been the greatest day of my life. Previously I thought the day I had her would be the greatest day of my life. _

"_Mom," she said gently interrupting my thoughts, "I know this is a bit of a shock for you-"  
Her beautiful voice brought me out of my reverie._

"_Oh sweetheart," I told her, "This is a shock I would gladly go through time and time and time and time and time and time again"  
Almost without any sense of time (or as I would call time __**stop**__) she was in my arms. You know when you're a little kid and you're having a really bad day? You know how something amazing will happen and anything that went wrong all of a sudden is erased from your memory. All of a sudden the hurt goes away. All of a sudden life becomes livable. All of a sudden this world makes sense. That's how I feel about this situation. My baby is in my arms. Suddenly my life is complete._


	18. Jealousy

Natalie knew one of the cardinal rules of friendship is that you're not supposed to get jealous of your friends. You're supposed to be happy for them even when they have what you don't. So why couldn't Natalie bring herself to not be jealous of Mr. Monk? She was happy that he had Trudy back. She really was but she wished that such a gift would be given unto her.

"Green is never your best color," she heard Mitch say.  
She looked up.

"Hey," she smiled at the spirit of her husband, "I'm not wearing green right now"  
He shook his head sadly.

"Natalie," he said, "I'm not talking about the color green. I'm talking about your envy"  
She sighed and shook her head.

"You know me too well," she said, a single tear falling from her eye. He knelt by her side and gently wiped away the tear.

"I want you to listen to me," Mitch said, "and understand every word I am saying. I am so proud of who you are and of the person you have become"

"Thank you," Natalie said, "That means so much to me to hear you say that"

"Natalie," he said, "I might not be here physically. That doesn't mean I'm not here with you"  
Natalie knew that it was true but it didn't stop the hurt.

"Mr. Monk got his wife back," Natalie said softly.

"I know," Mitch said, "She was taken when it wasn't her time but I'm going to let you in on a secret"

"Tell me"

"You will be glad that I am where I am right now," he said, "and you will be glad about that soon. I give you my word on that"  
Mitch paused for a minute.

"There is someone out there for you," he told her

"Yeah you"  
Sadly he shook his head.

"That time has come and gone," he told her, "for awhile now anyway. It can't return. I was taken at my time. I just can't return. It doesn't matter how much I wish I could or how much **you **wish I could. I can't."  
Natalie's shoulders sank.

"Natalie, do you remember when Julie was in nursery school? The teacher hit her for getting sick on the classroom floor?"

"Do I- I want to kill that bitch," Natalie said

"Yes so did I," Mitch acknowledged, "Do you remember making a complaint to the school principal?"

"Yes and that teacher was fired, charges were pressed against her and we were vindicated for what happened to Julie"

"I also learned an important lesson," Mitch said, "and that was **never **to piss you off"  
Natalie laughed softly. Julie was taking a nap so she had to be quiet.

"How's Julie handling her pregnancy," Mitch asked Natalie

"Better than I am," Natalie admitted, "I'm scared to death"

"Why," he asked her gently

"I almost died having Julie," Natalie said, "I can't lose her"

"That's not going to happen," Mitch promised  
Natalie trusted him but there were times that she didn't understand what was going on. Mitch had a very high regard for routine for example and insisted they stuck with it even when Natalie was in labor with Julie.  
_**She could remember yelling at him, "I CAN'T DO THIS TODAY"**_

"_**Why not," he asked**_

"_**HELLO," she yelled, "I'm in labor here. I'm having a baby."**_

"_**But Natalie," he reminded her, "Routine is important"**_

"_**I AM IN LABOR DAMNIT," she pointed out, "and I think…"  
She yelled as a contraction hit**_

"_**Finish the sentence," he chastised her lightly  
She swatted him on the head with a pillow.**_

"_**DO YOU KNOW WHAT LABOR MEANS," she asked him.**_

"_**Natalie it will just take a few minutes"**_

"_**I…am…in…labor AND I'M NOT A DAMN LOSER," she added **_

"_**Um…"  
Mitch was not a man who handled change well. He certainly wasn't as bad as Monk was in handling change but he wasn't good at it either. It made him uncomfortable. **_

"_**Natalie," he said, "You know how I feel about change"**_

"_**HELLO! Baby! Baby equals change"  
She didn't realize at this point what he was doing. She wouldn't realize it until after Julie was born.**_

"_**Mrs. Teager," the doctor said, "you're 9 centimeters dilated. It's time to start pushing."  
Mitch grabbed her hand. It wasn't until 3 hours later, at 11:54 PM that Julie made her way into the world and Natalie almost made her way out of it. The doctor found the kink in the line and stopped the bleeding before it was too late. Later when Natalie was resting Mitch brought Julie in. **_

"_**Can I hold her," Natalie asked weakly.**_

"_**Of course," he said gently handing the baby to her**_

"Do you know why I annoyed you like that the day Julie was born," Mitch asked

"Not really," she said, "because you like routine?"

"No. I was trying to get you to focus on something other than the pain"

"Maybe I should try that when Julie's in labor," Natalie teased  
Mitch shook his head.

"Julie's not keeping the baby, remember?"

"Yes," Natalie said quietly, "I think it's pretty hard to forget"

"So she doesn't need-"

"Mitch… I was joking. GOD I miss you"

"I know," he said, "and I miss you too but you need me where I am and that's not here"

"Why?"

"I can't tell you that right now, Mitch told her gently, "But you will understand in the future"

"When I see you again," Natalie asked, "Will you still—will we still…"

"Yes I will still love you," Mitch said, "I will love you forever. Yes when you and I meet again we will be together again but that's not for quite some time. I love you Natalie. I want you to be happy again"

"I am happy"

"I know you," Mitch said, "I know when you're happy and this is not happy"

"I miss you," Natalie said, "I miss your arms around me. I miss your smile. I miss everything about you"

"Everything?"

"Even the bad stuff," Natalie said.

"Me too," Mitch admitted, "I mean there wasn't much bad stuff but there were things about you that drove me crazy… and at the same time it make you all the more endearing"  
Natalie grinned at her husband

"We will see each other again," he promised, "I love you"  
Then he was gone as quickly as he had come.


	19. Toplying's Point of View

_I look at this woman standing before me and she is the most gorgeous creature I have ever laid eye upon. I always knew that Natalie was gorgeous so that didn't surprise me but lately I've been looking at her more and more as a woman.  
I always thought of her as a best friend. I thought of her as a twin sister or a mother, because of her maternal ways. Some 4 ½ years ago when she was going through a tough time her only thoughts were of Julie. It has only been recently that I started realizing something.  
Natalie is a woman. She has soft supple breasts. She has a face to die for. She carries herself in such a way that it's hard to know where mother ends and woman begins. She is always a mother first. She would always put Julie first. That's one thing I love about her.  
I can remember countless times I asked her to go somewhere with me, where she really wanted to go but she wouldn't because Julie was sick or Julie has play practice or Julie needed her.  
There were times that I was envious of that. After all, part of a mother's job is to teach her child to be independent right? Why couldn't she just hire a babysitter and give herself a few hours of adult time?  
Slowly I started to realize that being with Julie was when Natalie was the happiest. Julie was the light of her mother's life and nothing would change that. That was when I realized I had a choice.  
I could either accept the fact that Julie came first or I could not have a relationship with Natalie. My annoyance at being second fiddle didn't top my need to have a relationship with Natalie. So I decided to get to know Julie a little bit better. Julie turned out to be a great kid. I really liked her. She was smart, funny and compassionate to name a few things.  
Knowing that she is giving 9 months of her life to carry this baby that isn't even hers… well she's my hero. Julie was an amazing little girl. Julie was actually never a little girl. She was always very mature for her age according to her mother.  
Julie never teased. Julie always stuck up for her friends. Julie always saw the good in people. Julie consistently kept it lose and spoke in a soft melodious tone. She challenged me to try it. I didn't see it coming to any good but she was right. Julie has become… maybe not so much like my daughter but at least like my niece or little sister.  
I would give my right arm to have a relationship with Natalie but to be honest, I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't know how it might affect Julie. Julie as always had to come first.  
I worry that if Natalie and I get together Julie may see it as me trying to replace her father. Yes she is __**very **__mature. Yes she is a beautiful young woman but she is still a __**young **__woman. She had her father for the first six years of her life. He was the one that loved and nurtured her. I love her but I didn't know her until a year and a half ago.  
I knocked on the door to Natalie's apartment. Julie answered._

"_Oh hi Mr. Toplying," she said with a smile  
I smiled back._

"_Call me Benjamin," I told her_

"_Okay… hi Benjamin"  
I asked if Natalie was home.  
Julie nodded and told me that her mother was taking a nap. _

"_She should be awake soon," she explained getting some ice cream from out of the refrigerator._

"_Julie," I asked her, "what do you think of me?"_

"_What do I- what do you mean?"_

"_In other words… do you… have a good opinion of me?"_

"_Sure. I think you're great"_

_ "I… was thinking about asking your mom out," I told her, "what would you think of that?"_

"_Well I'm not exactly ready to call you dad at this point," Julie said with a smile, "but I think that you would be great for my mom"_

"_You do?"_

"_Absolutely. Look," she put her hand on my shoulder, "I loved my dad very much and I always will but he's gone now. He wouldn't want my mom to be alone forever and he wouldn't want me to be alone forever. He would want us to be happy and to move forward"_

_"You're very mature for an 11-year-old," I told her._

"_One condition," she said firmly_

"_Sure. What is it?"_

"_I want us to be friends"  
I smiled at her._

"_I would like that too," I told her._

"_We treat each other with respect," she added, "and you treat my mom with respect"_

"_I promise," I told her._

"_If I annoy you let me know," Julie added, "calmly without yelling"  
I promised her I would._

"_Thank you," she said smiling.  
Natalie came out._

"_Ben," she said, "it's really nice to see you"_

"_Hey Natalie," I told her, "Um… can I ask you something?"  
She laughed._

"_I think you just did," she pointed out._

"_I was wondering if we could maybe… go out sometime?"_

"_You mean like on a date," she asked._

"_Julie is okay with it," I told her and Julie nodded in confirmation.  
Natalie hesitated for a split second and then answered_

"_Yes"_


	20. Headache

Part of being a good parent is putting your children first. Don't misunderstand, you have to take care of yourself but your children need to come first. That was all too clear the night that Natalie was supposed to have her first date with Toplying. Julie had a **really **bad headache.

"I'm not going on my date tonight," Natalie announced.

"Why not?"

"Why not? Honey you have a headache"

"Mom," Julie replied, "I'm going to have a headache no matter if you go or if you stay here and I would feel awful knowing you're missing out on a good time just because I have a headache"  
Natalie hesitated.

"Mom come on. If I need you you're only a phone call away."

"Yeah but honey what if you lose the baby"  
Julie looked at her mother

"I admit that I didn't always pay attention in school," she joked, "but I'm pretty sure it would be my stomach, not my head that would be indicative of a miscarriage."  
Instinctively Natalie laughed. She couldn't help it. She knew that Julie was right.

"Okay," she said slowly, "I'll go but if you need anything and I do mean anything-"

"I'll call you. I promise"

"And I want you to go to bed early"

"Why?"

"You need sleep"

""

"Julie I mean it. I don't think you should be staying up with a headache anyway"

**"GOD mom I'm 11-years-old," Julie snapped**

**"I know," Natalie said, "but I would feel a lot better if you went to bed early."**

**"Okay," Julie said, "If it's that important to you"  
Natalie kissed her daughter's forehead. **

**"I love you baby girl"**

**"Love you too mom," Julie said.  
Natalie and Toplying went out that night but it was very difficult for Natalie to focus on anything. **

**"Natalie are you okay?"**

**"I'm worried Julie may be having a miscarriage"**

**"Why?"**

**"She has a headache"**

**"My sister almost had a miscarriage once. She didn't have a headache. It was a stomach-ache"  
Natalie groaned annoyed.**

**"But she has a headache. What if it's a brain tumor?"  
Suddenly the face of Mitch appeared.**

**"Natalie," Mitch said, "DON'T say anything. Just listen to me. Julie doesn't have a brain tumor. She's not having a miscarriage. What she has is a headache plain and simple. Do you understand?"  
Natalie nodded. Mitch disappeared.**


	21. Dwight's Point of View

_ I put a rubber band around my wrist when Trudy was born. Why did I do that? The answer is very simple. As a child I was abused. We decided when my wife was pregnant with our first child we would have no negativity whatsoever when our daughter was born.  
I know that's inconsistent with what I told everyone but I was ashamed of my childhood. I knew that I would have a tendency to come close to getting mad (which I did… come close that is) and I wore that rubber band to stop myself from doing so. It's not entirely a lie. I was raised by my parents until I was six years old. They were wonderful. After they were killed in a car accident my older sister and I were sent to live with our aunt.  
My aunt was a loving woman one minute and the next she would be hitting my sister and I. I didn't understand it at the time but she had bipolar disorder. She didn't have any control over her behavior. I knew that because of the way that I was raised I would have a problem __**not**__ getting mad from time to time and the rubber band stopped me.  
There __**were **__times I got pissed off though. One example is when my daughter got sick with leukemia. I was furious with the Father in heaven for letting her suffer so much. I think I just about came unglued when I heard about the treatments.  
When I heard that she died I hated everyone and everything because my baby was gone. Now that I'm standing here looking at my child… aware of the fact as I am every time I see her that she's here with me I feel a sense of relief flood over me. It's a feeling I hadn't known since she was born. Every time we have to go I feel a sense of sadness  
Julie is pregnant now. She doesn't know how hard it's going to be to let the baby go. Yes, she's going to see the baby a lot but now in her 3__rd__ month the baby is going to start kicking. She's going to be able to see the baby. If she chose to she can find out the sex of the baby.  
When Trudy and Ellis were born they didn't have the technology to tell if it was going to be a girl or a boy. We just had no way of knowing. Marsha knew both times however.  
I just hope that Julie can get through this. She doesn't know what she's getting into and I just hope that for her it's not too late._


	22. Here's An Idea

"Denise, Peter can I talk to you guys," Natalie asked.  
Denise and Peter exchanged worried glances.

"Sure," said Denise "Is everything okay?"

"Nothing's wrong," Natalie said, "I was just thinking about something"  
She waited until her sister and brother-in-law were seated than she began.

"I heard about your problem… about being removed from the apartment"

"Yeah but it wasn't because of anything we did wrong," Peter explained

"I know. I didn't think that it was but the fact still remains that you guys… and the baby will need somewhere to live."  
Again Denise and Peter shared a worried look.

"Julie's only 11," Peter exclaimed

"I'm aware of that," Natalie said, "and I'm not thinking what you think I'm thinking. Julie and I were wondering… how you guys would feel about moving in here with Julie and I. It would be a win-win solution"  
Denise and Peter exchanged glances again. This time they were smiling.

"How does Julie feel about this," Denise asked.

"I think it's great," Julie said entering the room.

"Hey sweetie," Denise said smiling, "How are you feeling?"

"Pregnant," Julie said laughing, "I'm starting to show a little"

"Yes I can see that," Denise replied, "May I feel?"

"In a minute," Julie said, "because I'm about to throw up right now"  
Julie ran to the bathroom and spent the next 10 minutes upchucking. When she came out she felt a lot better.  
As soon as Julie came out they started discussing the arrangements. Denise and Peter would sleep in Natalie's bed since it was a double bed and Natalie was only one person. Natalie would sleep on the pullout bed in the den. Peter would have to get allergy shots since he was allergic to dogs. There was no way in hell he was going to ask them to get rid of Captain.  
Peter and Denise agreed readily to be quiet while Julie was sleeping though Julie didn't think it was such a big deal. It was important to Natalie and Julie was already sacrificing nine months of her life so that they could have a baby. It was an incredible sacrifice. Natalie had the right to have the best for her daughter. The two of them exchanged a grin.  
Denise and Peter insisted on paying the rent and utility bills and any other expenses. Natalie and Julie were doing so much for them, Julie especially. Natalie also insisted a bathroom had to be available for Julie at all times. That was easy enough as there were 2 bathrooms in the apartment. It was no problem for one of them to wait.  
They also agreed not to argue around Julie. Julie was very sensitive about that. Denise and Peter **rarely **argued but one time Peter pissed off Denise so much she looked at him and said, "You know all I'm hearing is blah, blah, blah". Peter offered an exasperated eye roll but he knew that she was right. He apologized fairly quickly. He had learned early on that his wife had a great talent for the cold shoulder when she had stopped talking to him for a month.  
Denise and Peter packed up and moved in the next day. Natalie and Julie went out to dinner with them the first night. They went out of pizza since that was what Julie was craving.


	23. Ambrose's Point of View

_ It's no secret that I __**love **__my sister-in-law... my best friend. She's so sweet. She's thoughtful and always takes the time to consider the feelings of the ones that she loves. She's energetic. She talks to people in a way that lifts them up, not knocks them down which is something more people need to learn to do. The things that are important to the ones she loves are important to her. So to reiterate I __**love **__my best friend.  
My brother always knew this about me. My friend always knew it too.  
I can remember a time when she was going through a rather difficult time. I had gone onto and ordered a bouquet for her.  
The note on the flowers read to brighten up your day… from A friend. That day she called to say thank you for that wonderful bouquet. I don't know where the ham and cheese I got the courage to say it but I said, "thank you for being the wonderful person you are" She giggled and replied that if she were wonderful she wouldn't be going through a tough time. I told her that was a load of cr-p if I ever heard one. _

"_Nice image," she teased _

_ "It may not be a nice image," I pointed out, "but it's a true image. Good people go through tough times all the time. I know that personally"  
I added the last part quietly._

"_What do you mean," she asked_

"_Okay I'll tell you but you have to promise that this stays between us"_

"_Of course," she said cheerfully._

"_The only reason why I lost," I said, "is because I'm always afraid to try"  
I could hear the smile in her voice when she said, "You know I don't understand something"_

"_Maybe I can explain," I said_

"_For someone who has so much confidence in himself you always doubt yourself. Why is that?"_

"_That may be because I'm the biggest loser ever"_

"_You are no loser," she told me, "And don't ever think that about yourself"_

"_It's hard not to," I said, "My mom always told me that I was"_

_ "Yeah well she's an idiot," she told me_

"_I'm so different than my brother," I pointed out._

"_I would hope so. I mean you two aren't clones. You each have your own personality."_

"_That's one way of putting it," I laughed, "but we see things so differently. We do things so differently"_

"_There's a reason for that," she said_

"_Oh…like what?"_

"_The reason is because you two are __**different**__,____so of course you see things and do things differently"_

"_I know but-"_

"_Stop doubting yourself," she told me._

"_Okay," I said, "see you soon"_

"_Soon enough," she said smiling_

"_No… soon. Love ya"  
I gasped after I said that. I could __**not **__believe that I had said that._

"_What I mean is-"_

"_I know what you mean," she said laughing_

"_You're like a sister to me," I told her, "You're my best friend"  
That day I finally had the courage to step out of my house. Their place was 5 minutes away walking distance. I walked there and rang the doorbell. My brother I think was more shocked to see me then he ever had been… and he had been shocked before but that's another story. I was so grateful for the love of the people in my life… that was what got me through my hurdles._


	24. School Daze

Disclaimer: I own Ms. Dancer

* * *

It was a particularly hot day. Julie found herself to be totally distracted. She knew this was going to be a challenge for school. She tried to pay attention but found it impossible.

"Julie," the teacher said, "can you tell me what 7x10=?"

"Twins," Julie replied.  
She had just found out that she was having twins. The teacher smacked the blackboard with the pointer to get her attention.  
Julie heard the noise.

"7x10 does not equal twins," the teacher said.

"Oh sorry Ms. Dancer," Julie replied, "I was a bit distracted"

"Yes I can tell. Look I know your… situation is a bit unusual but you still need to pay attention in class. Now I will only ask you this one more time. What's 7x10?"

**"80," she said distracted**

**"****7X10," ****the teacher shouted**

**"Oh sorry. That would be 70"**

**"That's correct," the teacher replied, and continued with the lesson.  
Julie kept thinking about the fact that she was carrying two babies instead of just one. It would mean so much.  
Twins meant double the labor and baby A, the little girl had a large head. It was going to be tough to push the baby out of her. She was going to try not to get an epidural but it would be hard not to. It also meant double the nursing. Since Peter and Denise were living with Julie and Natalie it was decided that Julie would breast-feed the babies for at least six months.  
That wouldn't be easy but Julie understood as well did Denise and Peter that babies needed breast-milk to stay strong and healthy. It was just a fact. They could get by without it but better they should have it then not. Twins meant double diapers and double everything else.  
On the other hand, twins also meant double the pleasure and double the giggles. It meant double the life growing inside her. She was in her 4****th**** month and she looked like she was going to pop any day. She rubbed her belly affectionately.**

**"I love you Angela," she whispered, "and you too Zachary"**

**"Did you say something," the teacher asked **

**"No… just thinking"**


	25. Mitch's Point of View

I own the commanding officer_

* * *

___

I will admit it. I miss Julie and I miss Natalie. It's especially hard now. With Julie's pregnancy progressing slowly and normally I feel like I'm missing an important part of my daughter's life.  
I have always known my daughter was unselfish. She was the type of kid that would do

_**anything **__for anyone. I knew it every time I saw her interact with her school-mates. I knew it from the time she took the fall for one of the new students in her preschool class.  
Julie is going to have twins. Natalie is dating Ben Topplying. I'm happy about all of that and at the same time it feels like there's emptiness in me.  
I didn't like that jealous attitude that Natalie had when she found out that her friend had what she didn't. I could on the other hand understand it. I felt the same way when Trudy got to go back to the one that she loved and I couldn't go back to Natalie. It was hard for me but I knew that I would see her again. I knew I was where I needed to be. I knew that I was still a part of their lives.  
I think what bothered me most was that I would never get to hold my niece and nephew/grandchildren. I know that Julie wasn't the mother of the twins but she's carrying them so in my heart that makes them my grandchildren.  
I will never forget the first time I held Julie. She was so tiny and so beautiful. I was in awe. Julie seemed to know right away who I was. She reached out and she grabbed one of my fingers, wrapping her hand around it. She was my daughter. She had me wrapped around __**her **__finger.  
That began 10 seconds after she was born and continued for… well it still continues. Even when she threw a temper tantrum in the book store because I couldn't afford to buy her the book she wanted that day, I didn't it in me to scold her. Even when she couldn't sit still for even a minute I remembered how I would love her energy. Soon enough she would tire herself out. Everyone used to ask Natalie and I why we chose gentle parenting. After all, I was in the air force. They were tough. Most parents in the military raised their children in a militant style.  
Two years before my unfortunate passing Julie lost her first tooth. She decided that we should have a party for the tooth fairy. I dressed up as the tooth fairy (unbeknownst to Julie) and we throw the party in the café across the road from our home. It had to have been the greatest day second only to when Julie was born. I saw my 4-year-old laughing and grinning and so awed that she was talking to the tooth fairy.  
How many times do you get a chance to experience life from the eyes of a four-year-old? My family, especially Julie always came first. That was the only thing that would make me okay breaking my routine. It was the only thing that made me realize life was more then flight.  
Nearly 6 months before I died I was thinking about giving up the air force. I felt Julie could benefit from having a more sturdy life. It wasn't fair that she had to be moved around all the time when I had to change locations._

_"I think," I told Natalie, "after my contract ends next year I'm done with the air force"  
Natalie looked shocked._

"_Why," she said, "and what are you going to do?"_

"_Natalie it's not fair to Julie. She is always uprooted whenever I have to change location"  
Natalie understood that and nodded in agreement.  
"But what are you going to do instead?"_

"_I'll figure out something," I said, "Maybe I'll work in a restaurant or as a salesman in a store"  
Natalie laughed._

"_What," I asked_

"_Nothing," she said, "It's too cold out for me to even comment"  
I laughed._

"_It's okay," I told her, "I give you permission to be sarcastic"_

"_I just can't picture you working in a restaurant"  
I couldn't either but I didn't want Julie to be continuously uprooted._

"_I'll figure something out that will work for all of us," I promised her._

"_How about we take Julie to the carnival tonight," she suggested, "It doesn't end late"_

"_Sure," I said, "that sounds like fun"  
We took Julie to the carnival. She must have gotten distracted or something because we lost her and we couldn't find her for 20 minutes. I thought I was going to die! That was definitely the scariest moment of my life. My commanding officer asked me why I didn't beat the crap out of her for getting lost to top it off.  
I told him it was an accident, she's too young to know better and the way my wife and I chose to parent our child is __**our **__business, not his. He looked like he was going to get mad but instead told me he respected me even if he disagreed with me. Six months later I was dead.  
I watched as Julie picked up the phone._

"_Yewo," Julie said sweetly  
'GOD NO,' I think to myself._

"_Otay," she said, "Mommy it fow yow"  
Natalie smiled at her and took the phone._

"_Hello?"  
I watched as Natalie's face fell but for Julie's sake she tried to keep a smile._

"_How long has he been m i s s i n g for," she asked.  
She spelled the word so Julie wouldn't catch on._

"_Well keep looking," she said, "and call me as soon as you know where he is"  
Natalie was freaking out but she had to stay calm for Julie's sake. Just as she got off the phone Julie came up to her._

"_Mommy when daddy come home… I miss him"  
Natalie sat Julie on her lap._

"_Honey daddy's playing hide and seek right now. He's hiding and some people are trying to find him"_

"_He pay hide and seek wif me," Julie said_

"_This is a grown up game of hide and seek," Natalie said.  
Julie thought for a minute and then said, "Otay". Then she added, "Can we go to golden Arches."_

_Golden arches was Julie's favorite restaurant.  
Natalie was smart. She didn't say no._

"_Yes of course," she said, "but first you need to take a nap"_

"_Otay," Julie said, "I'm tiward anyway"  
She was asleep in 5 minutes. She slept until 6 o'clock… 4 hours.  
For months Natalie kept up with the idea that I was just missing. It was always, "he'll be back" and "they'll find him". Even after they found my body, along with two others I rode with, Natalie maintained for Julie that they were just seeking me. Julie fell for it until she was 8. Then she started asking questions and finally Natalie had to tell her the truth. She had two years of blissful ignorance. I watched as Julie grieved. I wanted so much to comfort her.  
__I always protected my girls. I always protected Natalie and Julie. I couldn't this time. I was in another world, watching them in theirs. I was hurting watching them hurt but I couldn't make it go away and that made me mad. It's hard enough to see your spouse hurting. It is triply hard when you see your child hurting. Your child is a part of you. You love your spouse and all but they aren't your flesh and blood.  
Now I know that it's time to let go and DAMNIT that's the hardest thing to do. I watch as my wife sleeps and I kiss her forehead._

"_I love you," I whispered to her.  
Than I walked out of the room Natalie and I shared and I walked into Julie's room.  
After I kissed her goodbye I told her I loved her. I was leaving now. I wouldn't be back for a long time if ever. Nothing would ever replace them however. I would always miss them. I would always love them. They were my world. _


	26. I Don't Care what Everyone Else is Doing

I own Tiffany, Mrs. Pingling, Nancy and Tiyna

* * *

Tiffany was one of Trudy's best friends as she was growing up. They met in school on their first day of kindergarten.  
_**Trudy had been sick for awhile. She was recovering from cancer but her hair still had not grown back. She had worn a wig and at one point it fell off. Everyone began to laugh and make fun of her. That made Tiffany **__**very**__** angry.  
**__**"STOP IT," she yelled.**_

"_**Why," one little boy asked, "Everyone else is doing it"**_

"_**I don't care what everyone else is doing," Tiffany said, "If you don't stop now I'm going to tell Mrs. Pingling what you're doing!"  
The kids stopped. One girl even apologized. **_  
Now many years later Tiffany was the guidance consoler in Julie's school. She found herself giving the same lecture she gave to the kids in her kindergarten class.

"Do you want to tell me," she asked Nancy and Tiyna, "why you thought making fun of a pregnant 11-year-old is a **good **idea?"

"You just answered your own question," Nancy said with attitude.

"Well enlighten me anyway," Tiffany came back, "because I'm still confused"

"She's 11 and pregnant;" Tiyna explained more gently, "Besides everyone else was doing it"

"I don't care what everyone else was doing," Tiffany said, "Suppose that everyone else jumped off a cliff? Would you do it too?"

"No ma'am"

"Now you do realize I'm going to have to call your parents right"  
She had no intention of doing that. She knew both girls had parents who believed in strict punishment. They weren't cruel or anything and they loved their children but they were very big into discipline.

"Please don't," Tiyna said, "I would probably get grounded for weeks and be reduced back to loser status in school because I wouldn't be able to go to the pool party"  
Tiffany hated that. She often commented to her husband that the only loser was the idiot that came up with that status system. Still, she had to make her point.

"How do you suppose Julie felt when you were making fun of her?"

"Not good," Nancy admitted.

"Exactly, it made her feel like a loser even though she was **not **a loser."

"Well I mean… she's 11-years-old and pregnant and she comes up with this cock and bull story about how she's a surrogate mother and she's carrying the baby for her aunt-"

"It's true," Tiffany said

"Just because she says its true doesn't make it true"

"Her mother confirmed it"

"Oh"  
This was the part of the lesson Tiffany hated. She had to teach them what Julie was feeling.

"Oh? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Oh?"

"Come on Mrs. Donnly surely you can understand our position here"

"Girls what if Julie had been raped? Would you have made fun of her for that?"

"That doesn't happen to many people"

"No but it happens nonetheless. It happened to a friend of mine."  
The girls looked at each other. Tiffany saw she had their attention. She continued.

"How do you think my friend felt when people made fun of her because she was 16 and pregnant?"

"Not too good," the girls admitted

"I'm not going to tell your parents," she said, "but I will have to do something. Therefore I will require you to write a 3 page letter of apology to Julie. If it's not 3 pages and handed in by the end of the day for me to check and then handed to her, you will have a month of detention. Nancy because you are dyslexic you can you the computer to write the letter. Have a nice day girls"  
The girls walked out looking both angry and relieved. Tiffany returned to what she was doing.


	27. Julie's Point of View Part II

_I am now at the end of my sixth month. I am big as a house and still have 3 months of growing left to do. I saw the babies today. Mom treated me to a 3D sonogram. Angela, Baby A is so tiny you would think she would be Baby B.  
Zachary, Baby B is a lot bigger then Angela. The Doctor estimates him to be at least 3 and ½ pounds bigger then Angela. They say that he's going to be a big baby. They are both so beautiful. I love them both so much I could cry. That's normal and understandable. Mood swings have been rampant lately. I could be happy as a clam one minute and the next I'm crying my eyes out when nothing's wrong. The doctors call it mood swings. I call it annoying.  
I know it's going to be worth it but there are times when I wonder if I really knew what I was getting myself into. Clearly I didn't. I'm tired, achy, moody and everything hurts. Half the time I can't even go to school. Lately I've been getting pains in my stomach and in my back too. The doctor says the babies are getting ready to make their way into the world.  
Mom is out on a date with Ben. I really like him. He's smart and funny and sweet. Right now I'm getting ready to crawl into bed when suddenly I feel pressure on my stomach.  
Nobody is home at the moment and I get scared when I'm suddenly standing with a big pile of water at my feet. The pain comes instantly. It feels like someone is taking a knife am ripping my stomach apart. Tomorrow I would have been in my 7__th__ months so I know that it's a viable pregnancy but I'm still scared._

'_Calm down Julie' I tell myself.  
I call my mom. Her phone doesn't pick up. I call Ben. His phone doesn't pick up. I leave messages on both their machines. _

"_Call me back," I say on both machines.  
Next I call Aunt Denise and Uncle Peter and leave messages on their machine too. _

"_Your going to be parents __**really **__soon," I say  
The phone rings. I pick it up._

_"Hello?"_

"_Julie?"  
It was Mr. Monk._

"_Hi," I said, "I can't really talk now. I'm kind of in labor"  
I figured Mr. Monk would get grossed out by that but he was amazing._

"_Stay right where you are," he said, "Pack a bag and I'm coming to pick you up"_


	28. Monk Out of Style final chapter

Angela and Zachary are mine

* * *

Julie closed her eyes and tried to focus on anything other than the pain. She thought of numbers, colors, how the babies names might be spelled. But the pain was coming in waves strong enough to bring tears to her eyes.  
Not thirty seconds later the doorbell rang. It was Adrian Monk.

"Julie," he said gently, "Now listen. I know you're scared. I know you're in pain but this is only temporary. Did you pack your bag?"  
Julie panted and nodded. He grabbed the bag and led her out to the car.

"Lean back," he said, "it will make you more comfortable."  
Julie almost laughed. Comfortable? She was anything **but **comfortable. She was in agonizing pain.

"Trudy's meeting us there," Monk said, "She called your mom and Benjamin. Your aunt and uncle should be there soon too"  
He was talking to distracted her but a wave of pain hit really bad and she screamed.  
With his free hand Monk reached out and squeezed her hand. He didn't even ask for a wipe.

"Julie you're doing great. You need to hold on. We'll be at the hospital soon"

"I feel like I'm dying," Julie said

"I know," he told her, "and I wish I could take that pain away from you. I wish I could take it for you"

"This isn't like the bracelet," Julie said smiling a little.  
Monk smiled too. Julie was such a sweet kid. She screamed again as a contraction hit making her feel as if the air was knocked out of her.

"I don't know how I'm going to get through this," she said

"They can give you something for the pain," Monk replied.  
Julie shook her hand.

"I don't want to risk it. It could hurt the babies"  
Minutes later they were at the hospital.

"Woman in labor," Monk said coming in with Julie in his arms.

"By the looks of it she's about ready to start pushing"

"What," Julie cried, "I can't start pushing yet. Not with my mom and my aunt and uncle."  
Just then the door burst open. Natalie and Ben ran in followed quickly by Denise and Peter.

"Julie," Natalie said, "You're doing great baby. I'm so proud of you"  
They got Julie into a wheelchair and took her into the labor and delivery room. Because of the circumstances Julie was allowed to have her family in their. The doctor hooked her up to the IV and gave her PATOSUM.

"Okay honey," the nurse said, "You're ready to start pushing. On the count of 3 I need you to start bearing down. Are you ready?"  
_No, _Julie thought to herself but she nodded.

"Okay on the count of 3… 1, 2, 3—push"  
Julie began to push with all the energy she had in her.  
_Come on Angela, _she thought to herself, _we can do this_

"Do you want something for the pain?"

"NO! The babies mean too much to me," Julie said, "I WON"T RISK it"  
She continued to push. Then she started to scream. She felt enormous pressure and burning in her vaginal area as the baby began to make her way through.

"I can see the head," the doctor told Julie, "She's almost out"  
"Julie," Trudy told her, "You are doing so great. Now all you have to do is get the shoulders out and she'll be here."

"I still have another baby to deliver after her," Julie said

"Okay one more push," the doctor told

"I can't," Julie said panting and looking like she was about to cry.

"Honey," Natalie told her, "You're doing great"  
Julie pushed one more time and the baby came slipping out. She was born breathing. What a beautiful sound it was.

"OUT," the doctor told them all of a sudden.  
Denise and Peter looked alarmed.

"Julie has to have a c section for Baby B. His heart rate is dropping and we need to get him out"

"I'm staying with her," Natalie said

"Fine, **one **person may stay"  
Natalie looked at Denise and Peter.

"You go bound with your daughter," she said, "I'm staying with mine"  
Julie was prepped for the C section. Natalie held her hand as Zachary was brought into the world and was brought out to Denise and Peter.  
Hours later Julie woke up. Her mother was sitting by her side.

"Mom," she whispered, "How are the babies?"

"They're doing great," Natalie told her, "Honey I am so proud of you. You did something wonderful"

"They're calling them…"

"Angela is the girl's name. Angela Patience," Denise said coming in with the baby in her arms

"And the little boy," Peter said with the other baby, "Is Zachary Joseph"  
Julie looked a little sad.

"What's wrong honey," Peter asked.

"I was kind of hoping that Zachary… or Zack would have my dad's name as his middle name," Julie said

"Well then," Peter said, "this little boy here is Zachary Mitchell."

"May I hold them," Julie asked

"Of course," Denise placed Angela in Julie's arms and she held her and fed her. After she was done she held and fed Zachary.  
She was a mother biologically. She was a cousin technically. It didn't even matter. She only knew one thing. They were a family.

"How's Mr. Monk," she asked

"Oh he'll be in later," Natalie promised, "He passed out watching the 'miracle of childbirth when you had Angela"  
Julie knew that she would have a long recovery in front of her. She knew that she would probably spend weeks in pain recovering from the C Section and would have to work extra hard to complete 6th grade. It didn't matter though. She was busy looking at her Aunt and Uncle holding their new children… the children that wouldn't have existed if it weren't for Julie. She decided it was worth it.


End file.
